Clear sky thinking ..

Today's the day folks! I'm having my hair cut! No, seriously .. this morning, come what may, I'll be shooting 200 people standing in their staff car-park spelling out the name of a new company project! Pray to the Sun-Gods for me, people! Pray! We have 15 minutes - an exact 15 minute window during the morning - when we can take the picture, as the whole firm is shutting down - phone-lines/transport/warehouses -  so that the staff can pile out to take their places in 5 big numbers and letters we're going to map out across the park. Think Halifax advert if you're reading this in the UK! The idea was first mooted by the firm about four months ago and I've already had two visits to the site to check everything out. I'll be three floors up and the scene will - if the sun comes out - be backlit. I just hope I remember to put a film in! 

If you'll allow me one more GOMM (That's Grumpy Old Man Moment, in case you missed yesterday's blog) The Perseids! A veritable feast of shooting stars and meteors! I saw one! One in all that time, and that through the tiniest gap in the cloud that seems to have set in since .. well, since they said let's hope we get clear skies!

You spotting a theme here?
I thought my picture of Ayers Rock - Ooops, Uluru - would set the scene nicely.
Oh, and I am having my hair cut today, too!..

Stop Press: YES!!! 200 people, 15 minutes .. DONE! Thank you, thank you to everyone that prayed to the Sun-Gods this morning! The sun came out with a vengeance and really made the shot come to life! The shoot was a fantastic success and as soon as I get the nod from the company I'll be able to show it to you.
Phew ...

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Grrrrrrrumpy! ....

Welcome to today's blog! From now on you'll never again need to watch another episode of Grumpy Old Men!
I will fill that space in your life for you!


Question! Why do people go to gigs, wait 'til the band is hitting full stride .. then choose that exact moment to have a good old catch-up chat with their mate? We went to see the B-52's last night, and damned fine they were, too. At least, the bits I could hear were. The two guys bellowing into each other's ear'oles behind me made sure I didn't exactly catch the band at their finest. Oh, and the lady who held up her iPhone to video large parts of the gig made sure I was only able to view a big part of the show through her wobbly bleedin' phone screen! And the grunt and his girlfriend that plonked themselves right in front of Lesley and I half-way through the gig ensured that the bits I might have otherwise seen were suitably obscured, as well! What a world it's becoming! Where did consideration go? Thought for your fellow man? When I got back in the car I gave Lesley an exasperated sigh. "Don't worry..." she said "I know exactly where you're coming from!"

So, I'm a grumpy old man and I yearn for 'the good old days' .. daft as it sounds! I photographed Wilf at the studio yesterday - 85 and still going strong! Look at him! Look at the pride, the manners, the morals, the dignity! I know I've just hit 53 but to Wilf I was still a "youngster" - a description I'm perfectly happy with, by the way! Wilf is the opposite of a grumpy old man! Alright, he was telling me about his tinnitus and his high blood pressure, but they were just minor inconveniences and were in no way stopping him getting on with his life. I envy his calm acceptance ..

Now SHUT UP !!!!!!.........

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Where you at? ..

Off to see The B-52's tonight, though I'm getting a bit tired of everyone bursting ino 'Love Shack' as soon as I mention it! For me that was the worst song they ever did so yes, of course  - what do I know? - it becomes their most popular, getting played ad infinitum at discos, parties, etc., etc., etc....

A tin shack in Sumatra was as close as I came to finding an appropriate blog photograph from my files this morning, but the 'human scarecrow' is playing the flute, so it's got a musical connection, at least...

God, I've love to be travelling again! I once spent six months going around the world, and I actually used a lyric from a B-52's song as my mantra.
"Wherever you go .." it said "That's where you are!.."

And, having said that, where I need to be is the Love Shack ..  er, I mean the studio!

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

In the pink ..

What a weekend that was! Started out with a lovely photo-shoot on Friday afternoon when I welcomed little three-week old Matthias into the studio. He reciprocated by peeing all over the floor .. and his dad's shoes, and my trousers!  Fab pix, though, Matthias!

Saturday saw me at the fantastic Wedding of Nichola and Lee. Nichola has Cerebral Palsy and brilliant taste! The theme was Fifties Rock'n Roll, with Nix in a genuine vintage bridal dress and the bridesmaids in stunning floral summer frocks and .. pink Converse Allstars! We got great weather, too! Many congratulations, guys!

I then spent Saturday evening in our local social club watching my mate play in a punk tribute band! Big up to Glam 69, who can make even the most stoical grannie get up and boogie to the Sex Pistols! You rock, guys!

Sunday? Well, Sunday was my birthday, so it was time for pizza and beer with mates in Manchester. One of 'em managed to knock off this shot of me whilst I was trying to photograph a hoarding around the Central Library! Cheers, Mike! Speaking of Big Words, I've got a great pr shoot coming up this week involving 200 staff from a Manchester firm spelling out a logo on the company car park!  So, all in all, everything's in the pink and here's to the first day of my 54th year!

54? Hey, now there's a good name for a studio...

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

The stars are out ..

Keep an eye out for The Meteors tonight! No, not the band .. the Perseids .. the annual shooting-star fest that never ceases to amaze me. Well, it would if I could bloody well see it! There's not been one clear evening yet as we lead in to the main event! Mind you, I don't think I'll be able to vouch for my eye-sight at 11pm tonight, as I have both a barbeque and a punk gig to go this evening .. and that's after a day shooting a Wedding! It's not a case of being drunk later on .. I think I'll be asleep! Well, I am 52 you know!

Stop Press: 52 year old becomes 53 on August 11th! Donations/beer gratefully accepted!

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Bats! ..

So, it's the fourth test, eh? Come on, England! Or not! Hardly matters, does it? I mean, I confess I don't quite understand cricket - obviously! - but let me get this straight .. England have won The Ashes by drawing, 'cos it rained, with two games to go, which won't make a blind bit of difference to that decision so .. the point is? Reminds of the time that England played Argentina in a World Cup match (Footy, not cricket!) It was back in the day that one had to 'video' programmes if you wanted to watch them later (My, how quickly that seems dated!) so, as I had a Wedding to shoot that afternoon I 'videoed' the game and made absolutely every effort to avoid the score. Even the bride told the hotel that their staff must not mention the game! Anyway, I was almost home - radio off and eyes front so I didn't receive any clues - but it was a hot day, and there came a point in my journey when I just had to pull over and buy a can of pop from a garage. '80p..' said the cashier 'And isn't it great that we won!' Aaaaagh!.....

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

On the tip of my tongue ..

 Yeth, it'th a lot better, thankth for athking ...

If you don't follow me on Facebook - and if not why not? - you won't know that on Saturday, whilst sitting in the garden with a beer, I was stung right on the tip of my tongue by a wasp. The little bugger had gone on a bender at the bottom of my can of Stella, and took exception to me trying to drain the dregs whilst he was still drinking 'em! Ping! Zap! Ouch ..

Anyway, four days on and it's finally starting to feel like I don't have an inflatable life-raft stuck in my mouth so, thank goodness for that .. and there's a lesson learnt! It's beer in a glass from now on!

Tell you what, I've had more than just a wasp sting on the tip of my tongue, lately! Things I've wanted to say to prospective pr 'clients' but, instead, have had to keep my gob shut, smile .. and walk away! I've quoted for three seperate jobs in the past couple of weeks, and all have come back to me with 'Thanks but No Thanks' as they don't want to pay what I've quoted. As 'good cameras' have become more ubiquitous, so peoples' perception of any required skills to take photographs has gone down the pan. 'You're just the photographer..' as one company said to me! It's a fact of life now. People just do not want to pay for good photography anymore! Digital is killing the pro!

Makeths me sthpit ..

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

CD OK ..

Lovely to be reminded of shots you've done when you go back to a Wedding after a while. Here's one from earlier this year and I'm so pleased that Lucy, the bride, has selected it to go into her Wedding album. Hers is the second album I've designed in as many weeks, and it makes a refreshing change because, to be honest, most couples these days just settle for a CD of their images and I never hear from them again! Designing an album 'rounds off' the creative process for me, as it makes the pictures actually 'tell the story' of the Wedding in a chronological and attractive way. It makes them make sense, if that makes sense! Coincidentally, I was endorsed this week on LinkedIn for 'Creative Direction' -  CD! Ha....

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Soft lads ..

Earlier in the summer I shot a whole series of pr portraits for a company in Cheshire, then took it upon myself to 'photoshop' a portrait of one of the ladies. Nothing drastic - just a bit of skin-softening, a bit of wrinkle removal - that sort of thing. I added the retouched photo to the folder of images I sent to the client, and mentioned that I'd be happy to do the same for any of the other ladies involved in the shoot. Skip forward two months and the marketing chap has just come back to me. 'Er, still able to retouch some of the pix?..' he asked. 'Sure..' I said 'Which ladies?' 'Erm.. ' he paused 'It's actually three of the men!...'

I had the 'pleasure' of shooting a birthday party for an 11 year old last night. Thirty-five eleven year-olds in one room and a DJ with what sounded like only two records! Sorry, CDs - er, ipod tracks! Hell, doesn't matter what he was playing, he played 'em loud! Add to that the screaming of all those kids and I came away with my ears whistling better than any punk gig I've been to lately!
Little darlings!

Speaking of music, I'm pleased to say that Phil Oakey's made it onto one of my T-shirts! A new designer fashion shop in Tokyo has just opened, and is featuring four of my music images on its shirts. The usual suspects - Joy Division and Morrissey - are in there, as well as Devo and, for the first time, the lead singer of the Human League. I photographed the band in 1979 - back when they were a proper group, not with any of those girly girlies in there - although I certainly suspect Mr Oakey would have been the first in the queue for a little bit of photo-retouching...

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

There ought to be a law against it ..

I must confess I didn't actually catch the official announcement itself but, it seems, there's been a ground-breaking change in some of the laws of this country. From - well, who knows when? - it has become ok again to use your mobile phone whilst driving. I mean, wasn't that a silly law anyway? Fancy 'them' trying to stop you making a call whenever you wanted, even if that meant dialling a number whilst doing 75 in the outside lane, or texting whilst doing the school run of a morning (Hey, you'd know when to stop 'cos you'd feel the kid bump into the car!) No, the thing that's bad now in this country - really bad, tut-tut, shame on you - is .. taking photographs in public! I mean, what is it with all these fecking photographers, walking about taking photographs on the street whenever they bloody well feel like it?! Jeez!...

So, here's today's story. I'd just finished hanging my photographs at the Deli-lama cafe and Linda, the owner, was chatting with me about the work. We were looking at my old shots of Eccles. 'Do you photograph anything like this now?' she asked. I shook my head, sadly. 'I'd get lynched if I tried to take some of these pictures now..' I said 'People just have completely the wrong perception of photographers these days.' (Ironic, when every Tom, Dick and Harry is now carrying a camera with them on their phone!) Anyway, off I went, and just happened to be walking past a guy who was using his phone whilst driving. I lifted the camera, pointed it at him. The guy carried on down the road, turned round, and came back after me. 'Oi..' he grunted through the open window 'Are you a paedophile?' I couldn't believe what I'd just heard and so, against my better judgement, I smiled as I turned back to face him. 'Why? What are you?.." I said 'THREE?..' 'What you taking pictures for?..' he snarled 'Because you were using the phone whilst you were driving.' I said 'It's illegal in this country!' 'Are you a paedophile then?' he repeated. 'Do you actually know what a paedophile is?' I asked 'What you taking pictures for..' 'Because you were ....'

I'll stop there. The conversation became rather predictably repetitive after that. I walked off and the ape drove away, probably looking for somewhere to whack off after proving his manhood (Apehood?) so boldly! I've joined a Facebook Group called 'Taking photographs is not a crime'. I hope another one starts soon called 'Driving whilst using your phone is definitely a crime! It's dangerous, it's inconsiderate, it's selfish and it's yet another sign of how standards are slipping in the UK!' God knows, there should be a law against it!...

Life's essentials ..

A gorgeous Saturday morning so, even though I have a lot of things going round in my head, I'll just keep it simple and show you a beautiful rain-dappled dahlia from earlier this morning.

Just to let you know that Joy Division and a selection of photographs from my Eccles Twelve for '13 project are now up on the walls of the Deli-Lama cafe in sunny Salford, and they look great! Get down there! Grab a sarnie and a glass of something tasty whilst you're at it!

Ah! Rain, sun, good grub, wine, interesting photography ... life's essentials!
Have a great weekend... 

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

The Generation Game ..

My Dad, and my Dad's Dad, for no other reason than I found these negs whilst going through yet more boxes of film the other day! The shots really strengthen my memories of both men. My Grandad always seemed to be sitting in that chair, puffing his pipe and picking horses that he never bothered to bet on, and the apple-core key-ring that my Dad's wearing as an earring sums up how he was always good for a laugh - always hamming it up for yours truly and his new-fangled Zenith E!

Off to Salford today to put my latest Joy Division exhibition together, and it's funny to think that Ian Curtis has been dead even longer than my Grandad! I was listening to Jeff Buckley last night - another artist taken - or purposely gone, depending on your views - before his time. Younger people often say to me they wish they'd seen Joy Division but, of course, they weren't born when the guys were doing their thing. Jeff Buckley is my 'wish I'd seen'  .. though that's entirely my fault. I just wasn't into him when he played Manchester. God, I'm into him now!

I think I've lost the thread with this blog! I'll stop now ..

My time of the month ..

The first of the month! Happy August, everybody! And, of course, that means it's time for the next exciting installment of my Twelve for '13 project!! Ta ran ta daaaaa! Running alphabetically, as it does, means this month we go from Mac stores - which was a general seller of tat in Eccles - through Maggie (Thatcher) to Man buys Wine, Market Boy, Morrison's, Mosh, Neil with kitten and .. finally ..  Nightclub! This was actually the social club at Manchester City's old Maine Road ground, and I love the beam of light from the spotlights at the back, highlighting just how smoky those places were back then! So, another 80 belters from the seventies and very early eighties .. and there's even another colour shot just to show I was right up there at the cutting edge of technology!! Click here to get there!...

I'm surrounded by prints and picture frames as I type! I'm getting a collection of images together, ready to hit the Deli-Lama cafe in Salford to hang my latest exhibitions. I'm showing Joy Division and a selection from the show that was 'Salford - Down the line' at Eccles Community Art Gallery earlier this year. It opens on Saturday and I hope you can pop down there at some point. Hey, go for the gorgeous grub, if nothing else ..

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

My little honey-pot ..

The end of July, and what a busy bee I've been. Can you believe the studio has now been open a month? Where does the time go? It's had a great start, though, and I'm delighted with the interest it's generated. Caused quite a buzz, you might say! But it's true .. having the physical presence of a studio has really given me a lot more exposure! (Ho ho!) I'm a bit like the bee in this photograph now. In between my usual Wedding, Portrait and PR work I keep flitting any way I can to try to bring in new business. I have some shots of a horse lined up for next month, as well as some photo-restoration work for the local church. I'm also going to be shooting a range of Wedding cakes for one of the other units in the centre and the tuition work has garnered quite a bit of interest, too. Looks like Studio54 is going to be quite the little honey-pot!..

#culchethstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Crash, bang, wallop ..

God, I'm boring! There we were, Lesley and I, captivated by an incredible film called 'The Bang Bang Club'. It's about four South African Press photographers and their harrowing/exciting coverage of trouble and strife around the world. If you haven't seen it then I highly recommend it, and not just because it's about photography! Anyway, the film had it all. Blood, death, murder, desolation, despair and - right in the middle of it all - a shot to make it look like the film-goer is seeing the scene through the viewfinder of one of the guy's Nikons. 'Oh, wow...' I piped up 'A microprism and split-screen focussing screen! I've not looked through one of those for ages! Did you know that with 35mm cameras you were able to change the screens depending on....' Lesley cast me a menacing glance! Cut to a scene where the snappers come in off assignment, and one of the 'old hands' gets told to show the new guy the darkroom. 'Oh, man.. ' I started again 'That reminds me of going into so many newspaper offices in the past. Did you know about the time I went to the Sydney Morning Herald and ...' Another glower shut me up in my tracks. Finally, the Picture Editor in the film, a glamorous sex-noodle just like we NEVER had at the Manchester Evening News, tells one of the lads that she never dates photographers. 'You keep awful hours..' she says 'You drink too much .. and you're all crazy!'

'Now that..' growled Lesley 'I DO know!...'

#culchethstudio
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Curtain up ..

And so we're back to Monday, and this week sees the curtain-raiser to my latest exhibitions - another chance to view 'I Remember Nothing' - my series of images from the Joy Division Bowdon Vale gig of 1979 -  and 'Down the Line' - a selection of photographs from my archive of 1970s black and white documentary work. They're both on at the funkily-named Deli-Lama cafe in Salford, and are being shown to coincide with Salford Music Festival, coming up in September. I hope you can make it down there!..

Today's picture? Oh, that came from Friday's Wedding at Heaton House Farm, near Leek. A couple of members of staff were just about to part the curtains as the new Mrs and Mrs Angove were announced into their Wedding Breakfast. It was an absolutely brilliant Wedding day! Sunshine, fizz .. cricket! Have a look here! ..

Anyway, off for an afternoon at the studio now and I'll leave you with the worst joke of the century.

Man: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a pair of curtains!
Doctor: Pull yourself together, man!

Boom, boom ..

(Don't worry, I'm sticking to the photography ...)

#culchethportraitstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Hands off Nigella ..

Off to the RHS Flower Show at Tatton Park today so in keeping with the Sunday papers here's a quick picture of Nigella without a bloke trying to strangle her!! Groan....

#culchethportraitstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Bowled over ..

Crikey, blimey, it seems yesterday's Wedding really was all about the numbers, 'cos I put a version of this shot on my Facebook page last night and by this morning it had been viewed by .. 710 people!! 'Owzat?!..

Yes, yesterday's Wedding was an absolute cracker and I'm pleased to say that it all worked out fabulously, despite the long distances between all the venues. We got to Heaton House Farm in plenty of time though, and the highlight of the day had to be the impromptu game of cricket that 'broke out' between the bride and groom, which made some great shots as Jen faced up to the bowling of her new husband as she went in to bat! Two PE teachers, you see! Now that really is a marriage of two halves!

Congratulations, guys .. you bowled me over!

#culchethportraitstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

Drive by shooting ..

The sign's in the window and the boy is gone! No time at the studio today as I have an early start on a Wedding over Stockport way. It's going to be one of the more unusual Weddings I'll have done, as there are absolutely miles between each venue. The church is .. wait for it .. 30 miles from where the bride is getting ready, and then we're off to Heaton House Farm, which I reckon is at least another 45 minute drive after the ceremony. Still, it's a lovely day for a tootle in the countryside. I just hope there's going to be time for some photography!!
Laters ..

#culchethportraitstudio
www.studiofivefour.com

A word in yer shell-like ..

I've started bloody scanning again! It was just too tempting! The shelves above me are groaning with prints and slides from years gone by, and I've finally succumbed to their brooding prescence and begun copying them to computer. I'll be about seven years! There are a lot of slides! Lots of Kodachrome, and a fair few old prints from my newspaper days - the negs long gone! Here's an example .. Ian Botham looks about 20 on this shot, an advertising poster going up somewhere in Manchester in the 80s. He's drinking low-alcohol lager, hence the suggestion of damage to his reputation, and when I googled it I came up with this! Bet he wishes he could grow a mullet now! Maybe not!..

I'm off to a local factory again this morning for the postponed recce on a pr shot that requires me to be up high. Only problem is the company's Health and Safety Nazis have decided it's too dangerous for me to go onto the roof! They now think - no tittering at the back - that it'll be fine for me to do a group shot of 200 of their staff .. from a window on the third floor! I'm honestly loath to even try it!
A poor shot like that in front of that many people could seriously damage my reputation! ..

#culchethportraitstudio
www.studiofivefour.com