There ought to be a law against it ..

I must confess I didn't actually catch the official announcement itself but, it seems, there's been a ground-breaking change in some of the laws of this country. From - well, who knows when? - it has become ok again to use your mobile phone whilst driving. I mean, wasn't that a silly law anyway? Fancy 'them' trying to stop you making a call whenever you wanted, even if that meant dialling a number whilst doing 75 in the outside lane, or texting whilst doing the school run of a morning (Hey, you'd know when to stop 'cos you'd feel the kid bump into the car!) No, the thing that's bad now in this country - really bad, tut-tut, shame on you - is .. taking photographs in public! I mean, what is it with all these fecking photographers, walking about taking photographs on the street whenever they bloody well feel like it?! Jeez!...

So, here's today's story. I'd just finished hanging my photographs at the Deli-lama cafe and Linda, the owner, was chatting with me about the work. We were looking at my old shots of Eccles. 'Do you photograph anything like this now?' she asked. I shook my head, sadly. 'I'd get lynched if I tried to take some of these pictures now..' I said 'People just have completely the wrong perception of photographers these days.' (Ironic, when every Tom, Dick and Harry is now carrying a camera with them on their phone!) Anyway, off I went, and just happened to be walking past a guy who was using his phone whilst driving. I lifted the camera, pointed it at him. The guy carried on down the road, turned round, and came back after me. 'Oi..' he grunted through the open window 'Are you a paedophile?' I couldn't believe what I'd just heard and so, against my better judgement, I smiled as I turned back to face him. 'Why? What are you?.." I said 'THREE?..' 'What you taking pictures for?..' he snarled 'Because you were using the phone whilst you were driving.' I said 'It's illegal in this country!' 'Are you a paedophile then?' he repeated. 'Do you actually know what a paedophile is?' I asked 'What you taking pictures for..' 'Because you were ....'

I'll stop there. The conversation became rather predictably repetitive after that. I walked off and the ape drove away, probably looking for somewhere to whack off after proving his manhood (Apehood?) so boldly! I've joined a Facebook Group called 'Taking photographs is not a crime'. I hope another one starts soon called 'Driving whilst using your phone is definitely a crime! It's dangerous, it's inconsiderate, it's selfish and it's yet another sign of how standards are slipping in the UK!' God knows, there should be a law against it!...