Cheers, Tony...

Now, I have been known to use this Blog to rant about the swamping influx of cheap amateurs into the world of professional photography!   
So.. here we go again!

My local shopping centre has some racks in which local companies can leave their business cards. I went in there yesterday to top up my 'pile' and there, next to my cards, was a new set of cards proclaiming TONYS (sic) BUDGET PORTRAITS. They're so budget that he can't afford an apostrophe, they look like they've been printed on Letraset, he doesn't list a website and the price is written on the back in biro !! (From £60 for a 24 x 16, just in case you're interested, you b*stard, and, by the way, I'm only £15 dearer!)

Now, why would you? Please? Does a card like that instil confidence? Would you let someone like Tony capture your image for posterity? Is a saving of fifteen measly quid worth missing out on the chance to have your shots done by a fantastic photographer like what I am? Then STOP RIGHT THERE! Do not encourage these fly-by-night amateurs, out to make a few quid spending money, when you could have me, me, me to shoot a fab set of images for you. Cripes, before you know it our TONY will be offering himself as a Wedding Photographer, and where would we professionals be then, eh?

Rant over! Large G & T, please!

What do I do now?..

Hmmm! Do you think I should have spent it whilst I had the chance?
I've mentioned before about the time I went out to Libya to cover a story for the Manchester Evening News, and I've still got this one erm, dinar, I think, note, from the trip. By the way, note to self if you're planning on becoming a dictator. Don't pose for the shot on your bank notes with a look of confused resignation on your face. It might come back to haunt you!

I don't know if you noticed but it's another yucky day, weather-wise, and I really can't shake a feeling in my head that the summer is already over, particularly as I've now shot my last August Wedding for the year. My next is on September 4th so it'll be, in my mind at least, an Autumn Wedding, and I'll be frantically whizzing round trying to find yellow leaves to shoot against!

Wonder if Gaddafi feels like things have come to an end?...

Saturday...

Sigh! Well, that was a lovely Wedding! Julia and Phil said " I do.." at Culcheth Newchurch on Saturday, and then whizzed off to Leigh Golf Club for fizz and a party, party! Lots of European guests there, too, all of whom seemed to be able to understand my manic blathering! Bonjour, tout le monde!

So sorry to hear of the Red Arrows crash on the same day, too. Just think how many of us have 'seen' that poor guy as he went through his aerobatics! Probably photographed 'him' at RAF Fairford in July! My thoughts are with his family.

Looking forward to the past...

Oh, my word! Another awful day for news, what with looming recession, concert-goers killed in freak weather, suicide bombers and the unsurprising fact that petrol stations haven't dropped prices in line with falls in wholesale prices....

Time to whisk myself away (mentally at least, 'cos I've got a Wedding to shoot tomorrow) to sunnier, happier times - in this case Thailand in the early nineties, when photography meant film, music meant Nirvana and I still wasn't drunk after three pints of Guinness!

So, roll on Saturday, when I can put my Wedding head on again and plunge into the world of happiness, love and Pimms!

Keep smiling, everybody!

A real artist at work!..

Ah! Siouxsie Sue! Back in the day, at Manchester Apollo! Look how close you could get to the stage in those days! By the way, it's not a real Polaroid! Naaah! I just used some of that free software to make it look like it! How crazy that the more we progress, the more we yearn for the past, and I've already blogged about how ironic I find the software that makes one's photography look faded and shot on old film stock!
Anyway, I digress! I finally went back to The Met, in Bury, yesterday, where I had an exhibition of my Joy Division pictures in the spring. They'd emailed to say "Please come and pick them up!" so I did, and now they're knocking about my office again, gathering dust! So, does anyone know of anywhere that might be interested in showing this work? Particularly in that London or somewhere down there, as they've never been further south than sunny old Macclesfield! A music pub? A club? A record shop? Thinking cap on, dear reader!

The artist at work...

Yes, here I am, captured for posterity, shooting the 'group shot of everybody' at a recent Wedding. Three cameras on the go, too! What a guy!

Now, no disrespect here, but I've got to tell you about an postcard advert I've just seen stuck up in our local shopping centre window. It's entitled 'Work Wanted' so as I say, more power to the guy for being interactive but... 

He's asking £7 an hour and lists his assets, in order of appearance as: Fork Lift Truck licence, Warehouse experience, Computer literacy, driving licence and, right at the bottom ... photographic experience!
Like, shoot your Wedding type experience, or what? Seven quid an hour?

Your servant is humbled!

Drink up, we're off...

It's those last few seconds before the start of your ceremony! The butterflies are fluttering, the mouth is dry! Just one last glug of Moet and you're off! Oh, the nerves and excitement of those moments just before a Wedding. All those months (years!) of planning are coming together for this one moment!
I love to be around to capture that electricity in the air, camera poised, shutter finger ready! Will the bride lick her lips, or glance quickly at her Dad? A tear from Mum perhaps, or a quick kiss from one of the bridesmaids? It's all there to be captured, and it's a fantastic feeling to have been asked to be the one to capture it! Adrenaline? Excitement? And that's just me!

Bouquet of roses...

Being the sensitive artist that I am it's always nice when someone takes the time to give me some feedback, and this weekend has been fantastic for soothing my fevered brow. I've had one of my blog readers using the word "brilliant" in an email to me, and another using the words "stunning" and "photo" in the same sentence! Now that's the kind of email I like!

More of my sexy Australian Jorgensen albums to make this week, before I head off for what will be the most local Wedding I've ever done, as both the church and the reception are in the village I live in!

Oh, and my lovely girlfriend bought me a smashing new Nikon Coolpix camera for my birthday last week (What do you mean, you forgot?) and it's started me off on a whole new set of Flickr project ideas. More to follow! Happy Monday...

Wet, wet, wet...

Well, it was the Lake District, but I didn't expect to get quite as wet as I did yesterday! Up there to shoot the fabby Wedding of Mikaela and Mark at The Inn on the Lake, Ullswater, and got absolutely drenched as the rain came down. When it wasn't raining it was drizzling, and when it wasn't drizzling it was spitting! Still, the show must go on, and there are already 690 shots online for the couple to check out...
Now, where's the hairdryer?...

Welcome to England, have a nice day...

Ok, the real world is a little too unavoidable today, so a few words on the terrible state of this country in 2011. I am ashamed and saddened by what these idiots did to Manchester last night, and I know what my response would be. Physical pain!

 We are living with the results of bringing up children without any form of meaningful discipline. Kids are not taught any respect, because they know that their punishment will not 'hurt'! I look at the namby-pamby parents around me, with their precious Sigourneys and Joshuas, and want to scream at them for the way they let their kids run around. Give them a clip round the ear! Make your point! Teach them!

See this photograph? I took it in 1974, on my way to school one morning, but a scene like that today, three kids approaching me in a dark tunnel, would fill me with dread! What a terrible way to feel!
Please, England, get real!

Oi!!!.....

Can you morons stop messing up my country, please!

Right! That's enough about 'the real world'...Let's have a little fun!
An amusing PR moment, and an amusing Wedding moment!

PR Funny... Yesterday I had to go through security to get in to an office to do some portraits for a company in Manchester. The chap on the door was filling in my pass. Name? O'Neill. Last name? No, that is my last name! Oh! First name? Martin. Martin O'Neill? Wow, are you related?

Wedding Funny... I was talking to one of my brides for next year, and asked if they'd sorted a suit for the groom. Oh, yes, she said, a blue one. It'll go so well with his cummberbundle !!! 

Gotta laugh, innit!

 

In the garden...

What to do on a Saturday afternoon without a Wedding? Why, shoot the flowers in my garden of course!
I just stepped out for a cup of tea, and a bright red gladioli caught my eye. Before you knew it I'd shot almost 400 images of flowers and foliage, a mere 89 of which I have made into a new Flickr set for your enjoyment! Reminded me of a chat I had with one of my Wedding couples over the weekend. The groom told me how keen he was on photography and how happy he was that, from the thousands of digital shots he had now taken on his new camera, there were 12 that were "really good" .... 

Rest assured, dear brides, my average is a LOT better than that, and I generally end up offering each of my Wedding couples a choice of at least 650 images from their Big Day! 

Now, go and have a look at my flowers! Peace and love, man!

In the sh*t....

Doom, gloom, credit crunch, recession! Must be time for a picture of a cheerleader and a pile of horse sh*t!! Nuff said!...

Hey! Picture the scene! Warm summer's day, car driving past, windows down and music blasting out. So far, so normal, except that the car that drove past me yesterday evening was playing "I wish it could be Christmas every day"! Well, we all need something to look forward to, don't we?

Stand there! No, don't...

Was back at Manchester Town Hall the other day, shooting an engagement portrait for a couple who tie the knot there this September, and was rather dismayed to see that all my photo 'locations' are disappearing, one by one! The lovely arched corridor on the corner of Albert Square, where I often shoot pictures of the Wedding couple together, is now shrouded in wooden hoardings, as the re-development of Central Library continues, and in the square itself, where I would normally shoot my group and family shots, there is now a semi-permanent (I hope!) concrete arena being built for the forthcoming Spanish Festival!
Even inside the Town Hall, the Sculpture Gallery has now become a cafe, with a flat screen TV right in the place where I'd normally shoot a lovely portrait of the couple. What to do? Photoshop a tropical beach into the background? Hmmm....

Dust yourself off...

Oh, why did God invent dust? I've spent the best part of a day photoshopping the bloody stuff off just three new Florescence scans, but I'll tell you what .. I'm delighted with the results! Now I've just got to get ten other images up to the same standard! I was revisiting my Big Box of Transparencies the other day, and found all these overlooked images just crying out to be added to my set. All I need now is somewhere to sell 'em! Anyone know of a cool gift shop or florist that might be interested?

Speaking of dust, I'm always amazed at how much gets inside my cameras, with no detrimental affect. When I used a medium format Mamiya 6x7 there was a tiny dust mite that had dropped dead in the middle of my viewfinder, far out of reach of any dust blower, and people used to have a look into my camera whilst it was left on the tripod at Weddings, just to show each other the bug!

Child's play...

Young lads up a tree, schoolgirls in the park - Jeez,  I'd hate to be trying to get these shots today. No sooner did I blog yesterday about memories of a more innocent time than I pass a lady pushing a baby in a stroller. Well, I say lady, she was probably about 16 years older than her child - but when I waved a little hello at the baby the mother gave me such a dirty look .. and that's without trying to take a photograph, so there you go, instant judgement! I'm a pervert, a paedo, a threat to her likkle precious offspring. Bloody hell! What chance does that kid have of growing up with an open mind? And so the cycle will continue, until it will actually be an offence in the UK to talk to someone unless you do it by text, or smile at someone unless it's on a videolink. God help the next generation! The photograph, since you ask, was taken at a sports day in Warrington in, oooh, 1981... and absolutely nobody took offence! Smile!

August, already!..

Bejeepers! How did that happen? School holidays already!  
Cue images of more innocent times, of kids climbing trees, playing out until dusk, eating food that didn't have a 'sell-by' date and knowing all the neighbours down your street...Sigh! This shot, and others like it, are part of my 'Don't Miss That' series, available online or as a book...
Packing my wellies now, as my next Wedding is up in The Lake District, so we're going to make a mini-adventure out of it! Can't wait! Not sure I'll be climbing any trees, but there'll be lots of walking and sight-seeing, and it'll have to do as my summer holiday, until the Weddings ease off after Autumn.

Anyway, I now have a dedicated Facebook page for my Wedding Photography, via UK Brides, the website I'm on for brides around the country. Check me out!
Hey, you might even want to 'Like' me...Aw, go on!

Yeah, man! My new album..

I'd love to be in a rock band and talk about making albums in that way, but my 'albums' of course, are Wedding albums, and I spent a long, hard day yesterday making my latest! It's a gorgeous 40-sided Jorgensen album, all in black. I love this final 'coming together' of images, shot by me, chosen by the couple and then designed to work together on the page by myself. It's the last bit of the creative process, and brings together some great juxtapositions of pictures. Here's a page of shots of the little flower girls, waiting patiently in the bride's hotel room before their Big Moment! Lovely photographs individually, but just that little more magical when viewed together!

Just a boy...

Portrait of the artist! A dip into the archive for a shot I've found of me, me me...  This was taken when I was staff at the Warrington Guardian, 30 years ago. I'm busy filing negatives and writing captions, with my trust Nikon FM on the desk in front of me! As you can see, the company spent a fortune on our luxuious office space!! I had to smile when I saw the photographs on the wall. They're of Wendy Wu, who was the lead singer in one of my favourite bands, the ever-so appropriately named Photos! Oh, Wendy, where are you now? It's hard to imagine now but I'll bet that, on that roll of 36 negatives on the table, there are probably 5 or 6 jobs, half-a-dozen frames shot at each event. Did you hear that? All you people who say the good thing about digital is you can just keep shooting until you get a good shot!!
Grrrr.....

On the horizon...

So there's a year to the Olympics, eh? Damn it, I wish I was interested! Sport's such big business that the magic seems to have gone from it, and the Big Money muppets are taking over the world. I was listening to a radio interview this morning with God, sorry I mean David Beckham, and people now hang onto his every word to such an extent that he was allowed to get away with a statement in which he spouted on about the qualities of, er, I don't know, some other player, saying "He's a really nice guy .. so I've heard!"... Oh come on!

Actually, it's all sour grapes! It's just because I'm hopeless at photographing sport!

Anyway, there's a lovely summer's day in prospect, so I'm just going to shut up and go and play in the garden!
The shot? Oh, that's from my new Flickr set..Check it out!