Bah, humbug ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

The festive season steams in earlier and earlier and I think it's three weeks already since I heard Wham's 'Last Christmas' on the radio. When we moved to France we were rather pleased to see that the shops and supermarkets didn't go as crazy on the commercialism as the UK, but I'm afraid that's all changed now. Our local Intermarché, for example, has had a decorated toy 'grotto' open for business since the start of November. Still, the 'season of goodwill' was always good for me as a freelance photographer, what with all the parties and promotions like the shot I'm showing you today. Back in the day, I used to do a lot of work for Royal Mail, and a regular PR shoot was the arrival of that year's Christmas stamps. (I'm guessing this picture was taken in the early 90s, with pantomime characters out on Manchester's Market Street to plug the launch.) Now, things are so bad that I'm not sure anyone can actually afford to buy a stamp. In fact, I've heard the main Post Office in my home town of Eccles is likely to be shut down to save money. Talk about 'Bah, humbug' ..

Buy, buy, buy ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In keeping with the true spirit of Christmas - ie: blatant and unabashed commercialism - my picture today is a graph from my Amazon account, showing my book sales for the month of December. I'm so delighted the month's off to such a great start. There's obviously a lot of Christmas shopping going on out there. My only question is this .. where is 'other'? If you're from 'other' can you please let me know ..

Ps: You want the links to the books? Certainly! My photo-books are here, and my illustrated children's books are here and here. 'Page 99, by Joe Bancroft' is here, 'Snaps' is here and 'Tofalofalos' is here. 

And that's the end of the commercial break ..

Ho ho ho ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Christmas comes but once a year, and when it does it seems to arrive earlier and earlier every time. Our supermarkets have been full of chocolate, toys and whiskey since about the third of September and, as today's photo shows, I'm starting to see decorated houses when I'm out and about on my bike. Now, an internet radio station that I tune in to has started to play only Christmas songs .. 

So, since you ask, I'll tell you what I want for Christmas. I want people to buy my books and for a major gallery to stage a massive retrospective of my work. Thank God then, that I've got Bill Jay to put things into perspective. (Bill was a renowned writer on photography and his books are always worth getting stuck into if you've any interest in the subject). He said "Photographers have enough to worry about, like calculating the odds (about the same as being struck by lightning whilst accepting the cheque from a major lottery win) of ever receiving a major museum exhibition, or any other national recognition for their work."

So it looks like socks and a woolly scarf again this year ..

 

Time for the children ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm still trawling through a big box of old negatives, with some great memories coming back to light.

This morning I found this one ..

After the disaster of Chernobyl in the mid 1980s, a group of children from the town were brought over to Manchester for a holiday. It was then that I took a picture of this delightful little girl, with her cute 'hat' and her beautiful smile. She'll now be nudging forty years old.

Everything's so fleeting in this life and I don't know where I'm going with this blog other than to say 'Merry Christmas' to everybody, and hope you cherish what you've got.

Peace, love, vodka .. 

Christmas 2018 ..

Christmas Eve .. already! Time to hope for world peace, a sensible resolution to Brexit, a reverse of global warming and unspeakable things to happen to the fluff-headed Yankee one whose name means 'fart' in English ..

Of course, being realistic, I'll just have to settle for a day of rosy glow and the glow of rosé but I guess that's the 'magic of Christmas', isn't it? The vague, miniscule hope that things just might come good and we end up in a better world. I give you my shot of the joy, excitement and innocence of Christmas as a nod in that direction ..

I've already had my present, as Lesley returned home safely last night from a week in the UK and now we'll get to spend our second Christmas together in France ..

So, to you and yours .. thank you so much for reading my blog and may your Christmas take you back to the magic of your childhood. It was good back then, wasn't it? ..

Christmas cutey ..

I doubt she'll remember it, but little Erin was the first baby ever to be photographed in my new studio in France. She popped in when she was just a few weeks old and brought along her parents, grandparents, uncle and cousin for a photo-shoot during the summer. And now here she is, back again and all geared up for her first Christmas on planet Earth. What a cutey, and what great fun it was to photograph her for her Grandma's Christmas cards ..

This year is the first time I've been able to offer portrait gift vouchers in France, and I'm hoping there'll be at least a little interest in them as December draws closer. I'm also offering vouchers for my one-day camera workshops. I hope Santa will send me a few bookings in the New Year ..

Merry Christmas, everybody ..

Cars!! Aaaaagh!! And road-works!! Aaaagh!! And effing Christmas!! Aaaaaaaagh!!
Oh boy, am I glad to be back in rural old France ..

I nipped over to the UK this weekend to see family, have a swift Guinness or eight with my pals and do a spot of er, plane-spotting. There's a pub at the end of the runway at Manchester Airport which I've been going to since I was a teenager in the 70s. It's the best place to get close to planes short of actually boarding one, and it was great to be back there after a year away. Getting to the pub, however, was a different matter. There are bloody roadworks everywhere! And cars. There are cars everywhere! From my bedroom window alone I could see 18 cars parked up. The roadsides are full of them, the pavements are full of them and there's a never-ending stream of them up and down all day long. And Christmas! Christmas is everywhere! Bear in mind it was still September at the weekend, so what a shock it was to see Christmas displays at the three large shops I went into.

Do you know the only thing that wasn't there? Seeds. I went into Wilmslow garden centre with a long list of seeds we'd like to plant in our garden. There were none. They'd all been "put away" to make way for the Christmas displays. So God help you. Do not go into Wilmslow Garden centre for seeds. You will be thwarted!

Oh boy, am I glad to be back in rural old France .. 

The best for Christmas ..

So here it is, Merry Christmas ..

I was delighted to know that some of my new French friends have actually heard of Slade, although the group's famous festive cornerstone never quite made it over here. There's a lot about Christmas that's different for Lesley and I this year - our first in France - but we're really loving it and enjoying the fact that we're a million miles from the rush, hustle and commercialism of our 'normal' Christmases past. In fact, the French are back to normal by Boxing Day and we ourselves have guests in the gîte on the 26th. On that note I'm putting up a shot from my archive - glum looking shoppers outside the window of Boots on Market Street in Manchester, circa 1981 - and just want to say Thank you for reading my blog over the past year, and have a great Christmas .. with or without Slade! ..

(Ps: Just how do you spell Christmases?)

Here's to the next one ..

I know she gets wheeled out every year, but I just love this photograph of a nun in a party hat tucking into Christmas lunch! The shot is now well over 30 years old, taken when I was covering a Christmas lunch for OAPs in, of all places, a casino in Salford. It's one of the pictures in my B/w Archive, something I plan to build on now I have more time here in France. There are still loads of negatives yet to be scanned, and I can't wait to get cracking on them in the new year. I also have a new exhibition in mind, which I'll start to shoot by the Spring, and I've arranged with a couple of companies over here to shoot some property photography for them once the weather improves ..

This is one of my favourite festive traditions. Christmas is a time to reflect on the year just gone, but it doesn't half get me looking forward to the next one ..

On the horizon ..

They do Christmas differently here. None of the UK's smaltzy tv ads or pubs displaying Christmas trees in August; no shops covered in decorations or playing carols 24/7. In fact, our little bit of rural France has only just about started to let the festive season make itself known. The supermarket allowed itself an aisle full of chocolates at the beginning of November, which has now grown to include a cardboard mock-up of a steam-train to mark the entrance to an expanded toy section, and our neighbour has put up some Christmas lights for his four year old. I went to my first Christmas Fayre of the season last Saturday and have another one lined up - when I'll be having a stall -  next week. It is so refreshing to see, and makes you realise just what a commercial enterprise the whole Chrimbo thing is in the UK. Of course, all of that could go out the window come December.
I'll keep you posted ..   

Back to business ..

That's Christmas done, and I hope you had a good one. I'd like to imagine lots of happy folk, delighted to have been given one of my portraits as a gift. I've had some lovely pre-Christmas shoots at my little 'pop-up' studio but this one of these twins is one of my personal favourites. The sweet expressions belie the fact that they were little devils during the session ..

Anyway, it's onwards and upwards now to 2017. I still have a few quiet days to enjoy, then it's back into the Wedding season in the first week of January. I've devised a new offer too, with £200 off the price of a full day's Wedding photography. If you've got engaged over the Christmas season, then many congratulations and I hope you'll have a look at my tempting discount.
Blimey, doesn't take long 'til it's back to business, does it?.. 

Downhill to Chrimbo ..

It's downhill to Christmas now, as I shot my last Wedding of the year in a rather dank and soggy Wilmslow last weekend. Good fun was had by all, of course, though thoughts of sunset shots at 9.30pm seem a long way off for the time being ..

Yesterday the PR head was back on again as I was shooting head-shots at a firm of solicitors in Altrincham, though I can see the diary is thinning out as we approach the festive season. It's certainly not like my 'old days' on the newspapers when I even worked on Christmas Day, photographing new-born babies. Not to worry, I'm glad of the slow-down, especially as it'll be 'Beer o'clock' again on Friday when I meet up with a handful of other freelance photographers for our annual Christmas bash. Thank God there's nothing in the diary on Saturday ..  

The year rolls on ..

The shots from last week's conference are in the post to the client and I can finally take a moment to show you a flavour of the event. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole thing, and hope I've impressed enough to get the booking for next year's shebang. One regular booking I do get is already looming in the calendar, and it won't be long before I'm heading off again to the NEC in Birmingham for the annual Motorcycle Show ..

Trouble is, once I've shot that job, I always feel it's downhill to Christmas, and I can't believe I'm already advertising gift vouchers and portrait sessions as suitable gifts. Just where has the year gone?..





   

Dad ..

I'm writing this at lunchtime on Christmas Eve - a time that is inextricably linked with memories of my Dad. I can remember him coming home from work one Christmas Eve lunchtime when it gently began to snow. By the time we were woken to go to Midnight Mass the light dusting had frozen over and I can always remember the crunchy noises we made as we walked down the street to the church. A few years later, as a spotty 17 year old, lunchtime on Christmas Eve was the time I met him at the pub, as we both worked in factories across the road from each other, and I can still remember the crush and the cigarette smoke that filled the pub. Sadly, Dad's latter Christmasses were spent with dementia in a nursing home when he had no idea what day of the year it was..

Today's photograph is actually of my Grandad, larking about with my sister Catherine in about 1964, and it makes me think how much my Dad must have missed his own Dad when he'd died. Enjoy 'em while you've got 'em, folks!
Merry Christmas to all ...

December will be ..

Wow, December .. already! The thought crossed my mind the other day that this will be my 56th Christmas on the good old Planet Earth, and then it dawned on me. Fifty six days is eight weeks. Holy Sh*t! Eight weeks of my life has been Christmas Day! I don't know whether to laugh or cry!..

My mates will know I'm not the keenest fan of Christmas there's ever been. Such a hoo-ha over one bloody day I have never known. Like everyone, I've had good ones and I've had bad ones but I'll confess to always having a sense of relief when Boxing Day comes and I'm asked "Did you have a nice Christmas?" Past tense, for another year! Phew ..

Of course, Christmas as a grown-up is never going to be the same as it was as a kid, and the 'Christmas record' was always a part of that magic. December the first is a good excuse to dig out this golden oldie - Kate Bush's 'December will be magic again'. I'm pleased to report that this came out for my 21st Christmas, so the 'festive spirit' was alive and kicking in me even up to adulthood. Given the state of the world as we head into this year's season of 'goodwill to all' I think it's time I listened to Kate and let some of that magic dust sprinkle down on me ..   

Bah ...

No avoiding it now! Halloween's gone, Bonfire night's gone and so have both Remembrance Days! It's time to look forward to Christmas. When I say 'look forward' I only mean in the sense that it is ahead of us. Truth be told, I'm fed up with it already! I'm sick of all the advertising, the hype, the blatant commercialism of it all and, much to my horror, I've already been asked by a pal if I want to meet up for a drink at Manchester's Christmas markets this weekend. No! I don't! It's not even the middle of bloody November! Come back in five weeks!..

By the way, I have 10% off all shoots at the studio until .. oh, you know...

Moving along nicely ..

I'm exhausted! Yesterday I went canoeing, bowling, and jet-skiing. I played basketball, frisbee and table-tennis .. and I even made a few free-fall parachute jumps .. and all before I had me tea! Of course, it was all on the Wii, but that's because the weather outside was so bleedin' awful. Well, it was supposed to be, wasn't it? It was a Bank Holiday - the last one for flippin' ages - so now, on the 1st of September, I think we can all bid good riddance to the worst summer we've had for a long time and get on with the steady old decline towards Christmas!..

I have a spattering of Autumn Weddings to come, but I think it's fair to say that the biggest part of my Wedding 'season' is now behind me, too. Still to come, though, are two Wedding Fayres - one at Mere Golf Resort near Knutsford and one I'm organising myself at The Culcheth Arms - the same venue I staged a Fayre in the Spring..

And today? Just the 1,200 images to edit from Tish and Simon's Wedding last Saturday! I think I'd better switch off the Wii..  

Back to life, back to reality ...

Ten days in Egypt! Just what the doctor ordered! Although I did start to come down with a cold the second I got off the 'plane at Ringway! That's the price you pay for an international jet-set lifestyle, I suppose! Anyway, did you miss me?
Thought not ..

Didn't take any photography gear with me other than the Fuji X10 and, once again, I was one of only about three people in the whole resort that actually took a camera on holiday. Everywhere else it was 'phones, tablets, and ipads... the compact camera industry must be freaking out! Still, my lovely machine performed admirably as always, and here's one of the more amusing shots from my trip.
Ps: So why is it called the Red Sea?  ..

Nice to be back at work though, and my new Manchester Wedding Photography site seems to have been doing its job! I've come home to two Wedding bookings, two portrait sessions and three Christmas parties to shoot! Ah, yes, December already! We didn't hear a single mention of Christmas whilst we were away.
I'd better get my festive head on, and quickly.
Just need to take a Lemsip first ..

Just in time for .. October!

I heard an ad on the radio yesterday for one of those ubiquitous sofa companies, proudly boasting that orders were guaranteed to be ready in time for Christmas!  
I should bloody well think so, boys! It's September!..

Anyway, I've had Christmas on my mind these past few days, as I've been designing an album from a Wedding at Peckforton Castle on December 23rd last year. Now, I see a lot of photographers' blogs that basically just consist of a huge selection of photographs! One never-ending line of shots from a single Wedding. An easy way of blogging but then, I suppose, also a great way to show off one's work to the general public. So, for once, I thought that's what I'd do, too! I'm showing you a selection of pages from this album. The Wedding Day itself was one of non-stop rain and murk - so all the photographs were shot inside. (You can see a few more from The Big Day here!) Anyway, Emma and James emailed me their choice of photographs only last week, and their album is being printed as we speak! Ready by Christmas? Dude! Try October! ..

Christmas crackers ..

I somehow managed to drink solidly for 9 hours straight yesterday! I must be Christmas crackers! The occasion was the works' 'Office do' which, as a self-employed freelance photographer, involved hitching up with, in this case, four other freelance snappers for a meal and severalteen gallons of mulled wine. Big 'up' to the Deli-Lama cafe in Salford for a delicious Christmas meal (Turkey and all the trimmings in a plate-sized Yorkshire Pud! Oooh, I could just eat it all over again!) and well done to Manchester Christmas Market, which was as glittery, giddy and exciting as ever. The highlight of the day must have been the sight of five professional photographers fumbling with each others' compact cameras and trying to get the flashes to work as we all took photographs of each other taking photographs of each other .. if you see what I mean! Good news of the day was that we're all still managing to make a living as said professionals .. and the shock of the day was when one of the guys came out as gay and told me he'd fancied me for years! How's that for a Christmas surprise!...