Do you blog?..

Further to my ramblings about the Google ranking system and how to get yourself up it, I was chatting to a new chap at badminton last night who turned out to be a 'senior IT consultant'  (That was handy!) I asked him if he knew anything about SEO (Search Engine Optimisation) "A little .. " he said, self-effacingly, so I asked him if he knew how I could get my website higher up the search pages. "What is it you do?" he asked. "Photography!.." I said. "Ah, ok.." he nodded "So do you change the pictures on your site very often.." "Oh, yes.." I said "In fact, I just changed the front page this very day..."


He thought for a moment... "Do you actually submit the site to search engines?"
"I do, indeed" I said "And I use Google Adwords, albeit at a very low budget"
"And are you on Facebook?"
"Oh, yes, of course.." I said "I have a specific Facebook page for StudioFiveFour"
"And Pinterest, Flickr, etc...?"
"Yes, I use all of those.." I said "and Tumblr"
"And you Tweet?"
"I tweet"
He scratched his cheek and twirled his badminton racket as we waited for our turn on the court. "Ah, well..." he said, breaking into a smile "What you need to do is to write a blog!.."

Oh, bugger....

Con Man ..

The mysteries of The Google Rankings are a dark art, and I could study them for another hundred years and still not understand how they all work. Thankfully, yet another 'expert' came to my rescue yesterday and offered me his services to get my web-site up the listings. "There are so many brides out there.." he assured me "who are happy to spend £1, 350 on their Wedding photography" and, for a fee, he added, he could direct them to my site. Oooh, I said - with faux enthusiasm - so how much would that fee be? He started to hit me with figures. My mind went blank. It involved hundreds of pounds! My eyes started to water and I went for a lie down! Isn't it funny that the word 'con' can be used to mean 'to study' or 'to swindle'...

The future's bright ..

You can do it when you B and Q it, except we can't and we're turning away from 'doing it ourselves', to the detriment of the profits of the hardware giant. Of course, the company blames the bad weather for their drop in takings but, according to Sunday's Observer, it seems people are finally realising they can't do it themselves, and are returning to booking the professionals to sort out their plumbing and their parquet flooring. I just hope the same mind-set starts to apply to the world of photography! Will we ever again see the day when people realise they can't take photographs like the pros, or are we stuck forever with the ethos of "The photograph's come out and it didn't cost me anything"? Sadly, I think it's the latter. My pal told me yesterday he's flogged off all his Leica lenses as clients "don't care about image quality anymore" and I've recently passed not one, but two photography studios in Altrincham that have shut down. Hell, I was told yesterday of an aquaintance of mine whose studio's gone bankrupt and who has now taken a job as a baggage handler at Manchester Airport!! Oh dear! Still, I hate to say it but, with fewer professionals out there, I can only see that as more work for me! Somehow I'm managing to tootle along and still make a living from photography. Here's hoping the future is bright, after all ..

That's not work ! ..

Two Weddings over the weekend - 2,000 shots - and the biggest bloomin' smile on my face! I had such a blast on both days and, though they were both so different in so many ways, both brides were so lucky with the weather! The sun beamed down on both of them all day long! It was divine though, of course, it goes without saying that come Monday, when I had a day off and wanted to work in the garden .. it poured down! Sigh! Have a look at Lucy and Lee's web-page here...

So, a short week ahead and, when I finally finish working on the Wedding shots, I have family portraits, an engagement shoot and a Shoot 'n Tutor session to squeeze in before I can catch breath again! I can hear my old dad now though. "That's not work!..." he used to rib, as he came in from the factory covered in oil! He was so right! It's an absolute joy!..

TGI Monday ..

Yesterday's Wedding was a marathon session! I left to shoot bridal preparations at 8.30 am and arrived home just before ten at night, having stayed to shoot the first dance of Laura and Steve! Phew! Yes, I think 'Phew' covers it! I was shattered! Shattered but really 'creatively satisfied', having taken hundreds of really lovely shots on a gorgeous sunny May Sunday. We were at Willington Hall -  such a lovely venue for a Wedding, and I'm so lucky that the owners recommend me to prospective couples. One of the nice things about the day was .. oh, hang on, it's a Bank Holiday. I'll tell you tomorrow! Enjoy your day.....

Next..

Ding, ding! Round Two, and after a fantastic Wedding yesterday I'm up and off for an early start on today's! I'm at Willington Hall, one of my favourite venues, and the weather looks amazing. Oh, the joy of being able to say "Everybody into the shade, please!"...

Jump to it..

The Bank Holiday beckons, and that means two great Weddings heading my way. Can't wait to get cracking! I'm at the Park Royal Hotel on Saturday, and Willington Hall on Sunday. I know it might sound corny, but it really is fantastic to be able to spend such a landmark day with a couple and, let's face it, to be able to control quite a lot of what goes on during their day! When I worked for the Press I'd be under such time-pressure to get in and out that I'd be able to get people doing exactly what I wanted within just a few minutes. 'Put this onion on my head and stand on one leg waving a chip pan? Yes, of course! When will I be in the 'paper?' But that's what a bride and groom should be able to expect from their Wedding photographer. What good are these snappers that boast of being 'unobtrusive'? If you don't intervene at a Wedding then, quite frankly, not a lot happens. A crowd of people stand around chatting and drinking. That's it! It might as well be Tuesday night in The Waggon and Horses! Not very exciting photographs, as you can imagine! So, come on, jump to it...

Woolwich ..

Oh, dear!
Horrible events yesterday ..

Religion!
God help us! ..

Come fly with me..

So I'm working on this old image yesterday - of a Jumbo at 'Ringway' Airport - when 'Jet' by Wings comes on the radio! I just love coincidences like that! The other day Lesley and I watched the Kirsten Dunst version of 'Marie Antoinette' and, listed in the film credits, was the name of a guy who's job was 'Head Cutter'! The guy who wrote my Crossword Dictionary is called Ted Smart! It goes on and on! Anyway, the reason I was working on this shot is because it's just been selected to go up on the walls of a new 'Executive' Lounge at Manchester Airport. I've had two images chosen - the other shot is of an old Dan-Air Comet - and it looks like there'll be more to go up in the near future. It's all been a bit rushed - as these things always are - but I'll be able to tell you a little more about it once the lounge opens to the public next week. There was one other good piece of news yesterday, too! I'm going to have a three-month show of some of my music photography over the summer/autumn at a cafe in Salford. It'll tie in nicely with the Salford Music Festival, so I'll probably be able to buy my own private jet from the sales of Joy Division prints before Christmas! Must fly..

Stop Press: News just in .. reports say it's not a Jumbo, it's a DC8 !

Bite-sized..

Hey, dear reader! Fancy a break? (Sorry, you have to read this in a corny commercial voice-over kinda way! Yeah, man!) So, looking for some great food? Want to combine that with some cool photography? Then why not pop down to Smiths Restaurant in Eccles? Smiths? Yes, Smiths Restaurant, where you'll find a delicious selection of food and drink and .. wow.. wait .. an exhibition of my archive photographs on the theme of .. food and drink! Far out! (Actually, it's just by the railway station, with ample convenient parking) ..

Yes folks, today's the day my new collection of work goes up and I'm really delighted with the selection. I've managed to pick an amazing 90 images from my Twelve for '13 archive, all on the theme of Food and Drink. It's called .. wait for it .. 'Photography .. it's food and drink to me!' Ha! Took me ages to come up with that one! Click here for a sneak preview, and then get yo asses down to Smiths for a longer gander! Have something tasty to eat whilst you're there!
But I don't think they sell Kit Kats! ..

Stop Press: Oooh, look at me! I've come over all previous! Turns out that the restaurant is in the middle of redecorating, but they're keen to get my work asap. Hell, just go for the nosh and catch up with my exhibition next week!

A word in yer ear...

Saturday was fantastic! A brilliant Wedding and an amazing gig! Two WOWs in one day! I'll talk about The Wedding tomorrow, 'cos my theme today is music. I got the shock of my life on Saturday when I heard the young make-up artist before the Wedding admit that she'd never heard of The Police! I mean, choke on my Cheerios! Ok, I accept that music is a generational thing but bloody hell! And, funnily enough, I've just been listening to XFM - well, I do try to stay down with the kids, you know! ( Or up .. whichever one it is! ) Anyway,  they just played a new song by an Aussie band called, I think, Sancisco. "I put these.." said the Joss Dickey "In the style of .." and then he mentioned some other 'modern' bands I've never heard the names of. Bloody Nora, I thought, you're doomed already, boys! The DJ is basically saying you just sound like other bands! Might as well pack up and go home now! No danger of that, of course, on Saturday night when ageing rockers Discharge and The Exploited took to the stage at the Ritz, in Manchester. Talk about a generational thing - I was instantly 21 again! Straight into the mosh-pit, glasses firmly gripped in one hand - camera in the other, and I have all the bruises, bangs and aches to prove it! Have a look at a bit of film here! Now I'm not critising that young girl. Music is constantly changing, after all but, from my middle-aged perspective, not necessarily for the better. I just feel so smug that we got The Exploited, and she gets Bruno Marzzz...

Two, free, four...

Mac 'n Mohican!..

Ah, the sun, the heat, the deep blue skies - none of which we look likely to get today, so it's fingers crossed as I head to today's wedding reception .. in a field! 
I just don't know what to wear... suit? mac? nice shoes? wellies?...

..and then I'm off to see The Exploited in Manchester. I haven't been to a 'proper' punk gig in years. I just don't know what to wear... t-shirt? ripped? jeans? combats?...

One thing's for sure .. I won't need to bother with a mohican!..

Past and future..

I can't wait for tomorrow's Wedding! It's in a tent .. in a field .. with wellies and a VW camper .. and guests camping in their own tents behind the main teepee! Far out, man! How cool is that? Actually, probably freezing, and I'll bet we'll need those wellies, looking at the weather forecast! But it's like I always say to my brides and grooms .. I've never yet seen the weather spoil a Wedding Day for a couple. Book your date and go for it. No-one can tell the future...

I can't wait for tomorrow's gig! It's at The Ritz .. with punks .. and a 10pm curfew! Aw, aren't they considerate, those venue managers? Ten pm, last song, and then all us ageing punks can catch the last bus home and be in bed with our Horlicks by 11pm. Horlicks .. and probably Deep Heat, smeared on our achy legs after an evening of trying to relive our pogoing, energetic past..

I can't wait to tell you my exciting news! But, alas, I'll have to .. as it's still not happened! God, will it ever? Oh, I wish I could tell the future...

It's the economy, stupid ..

Good to hear the Bank of England robot Mervyn King speaking in a slightly more upbeat way about the UK economy yesterday, but I'm afraid to say it came on the same day that a very good friend of mine had the bombshell of redundancy dropped on him from a bleedin' great height! He woke up yesterday and went into work, and today he's having a lie-in because the company can't afford to keep him on any more. He works - sorry, worked - for a company who teach other companies how to attract more business. No further comment needed! Fingers crossed for you, Dan...

Ironically, I had a call myself yesterday from a PR company who asked me to quote for a job. When I gave them a figure they emailed to thank me for the quote but had decided to "deal with it internally" - ie: not book me and take their own photographs instead! Are you sure the economy's recovering, Merv?... 

Anyway, on a chirpier note, I'm finally getting on top of things in the 'exhibition' department, and will soon have all the work ready to hang for my next event. I'm going to be at Smiths Restaurant, in Eccles with a show called 'Photography - It's food and drink to me!', a series of photographs each with an element of eating or drinking in them. Having said that, I can't exhibit in a place called Smiths and not show any pictures of you-know-who now, can I, so there'll be a couple of Mozzer shots up there, too. And some of my Florescence work as well...

Oh, and remind me to tell you about the Manchester Airport project that's just come my way. Hmm, perhaps there are signs of recovery, after all. Bodes well, Dan! Bodes well...

Bonkers...

Oh, to be in England! There's been a massive road-works job going on around our way, with a thin trench being dug over a distance of quite a few miles by a company working for the 'electric'. Once they've filled in the trench and put tarmac over their work, they repaint any traffic instructions their digging has removed. Thing is, they literally only paint over what they've dug up and so, because the original warnings were almost completely worn away, we're now left with this whole series of Os and OVs running for miles through the area! Brilliant! (This is part of the word SLOW, in case you're confused!)

Yesterday, a PR photographer pal of mine phoned to ask my advice as he's been told he's required to send in a Risk Assessment form for a shoot they want him to do. 'Will it be dangerous?..' I asked 'Are you likely to cause an accident? Could someone get hurt?...' He laughed, bitterly! 'Well, what exactly is the job?..' I pushed. 'It's a portrait of a man sitting at his desk!..' he sighed! I ask you!..

Oh, sod it, let's have one more! When we were landing during my holiday last week I was told by the stewardess to ... switch off my camera! Stayed tuned: I'm writing to the company for an explanation!

England! You don't have to be mad to live here, but it helps...

The thought was there ..

Yes, I'm back, and it's always the same with holidays, isn't it? You work like bonkers to get everything done before you go, then still have to work like mad to catch up with all the stuff you didn't do whilst you were away! Still, it'll never stop me going away, and I've already got myself up to speed with Sam 'n Steve's Wedding, which I shot the day before I went away. Ah, holidays! For a week there I quite fancied myself as Daniel Craig, striding through the surf as James Bond - or Jamie Oliver, carefully working my way through the resort's restaurants, identifying local herbs and methods of cooking - or Ranulph Fiennes, forging new routes into the island hinterland and making contact with the natives. In reality, I didn't dare go too far into the sea, 'cos I hate deep water - and I ate chicken souvlaki at the same restaurant for a week 'cos I liked it the first time and why risk getting a meal you don't enjoy - and I did spend quite a bit of time looking up at those paths that wound around the hilltops but, well hey, you're on holiday aren't you, and you're supposed to be getting a breather whilst you can! Ah well, there's always next year...

©Martin O'Neill 2013

Hands in gloves...

I've been away, and now I'm back. A big thank you to both fans of the blog who enquired about my whereabouts! (Hi T!) After a week away I have heaps of stuff to write about, but I wanted to be topical today and mark the .. wait for it .. thirtieth anniversary of the release of The Smiths' first ever single. Can you believe that? It was thirty years ago today that we first heard that jingly-jangly, harmonica-filled, yodelly, open-drummed slice of 45rpm heaven that was 'Hand in Glove'. Blew my head off! I was a Smiths fan from that day on, and I'm so lucky that I was around and just the right age to see 'em. I remember going backstage at the Free Trade Hall and photographing Morrissey with his Mum, and asking her if her name was Mrs Morrissey! Ha! And then the NME used the shot of them with picture corners around it, as if it had just been copied from a family photo-album! Ha x 2! I also remember queuing up at Virgin Records on the corner of Market Street in Manchester for 'The Queen is Dead', and being the first person in the shop to pick up a copy. It had Morrissey's autograph scrawled across the front in gold pen - something I thought was just part of the sleeve design until I saw other copies and realised I'd just got my mitts on something rather special! Speaking of mitts, my hands are freezing! It was rather warm where I've just been and the atypical May weather has caught me on the hop. Yo, Moz! Where are my gloves?...

Spaced out ..

May The Fourth be with you, as they say and, indeed they were, as the police nabbed a bad 'un trying to break into a house across the road at two am this morning. After all that excitement - and then lying in bed thinking about today's Wedding - it's safe to say that spaced-out is a pretty good description of how I'm feeling this morning! Sorry about today's photograph, by the way. It's my cousin Neil in about 1977 - Eccles' first astronaut! It's about as close as I can get to a 'space-themed' photo without delving into the archive for my snaps of Houston and Florida. I went to see a Shuttle launch there once and it blew my mind that the vehicle had reached orbit before I'd got back to the motel! Speaking of which, I'd better crack on. I've got that Wedding to shoot. Nunsmere here we come! Copy that, over ..

Gushing..

Nothing deep or heavy in today's blog, just the joy of a gorgeous spring morning with the warm sun on my face as I chomp my Cheerios and check out my tulips. Aaaah, beautiful! I'm chomping at the bit, too, for Saturday's Wedding! For some reason I'm really excited about cracking on with it! I'm down at Nunsmere Hall to capture the day for a great couple, Sam and Steve. It's just a straight-forward, simple Wedding - lovely venue, an intimate 45 guests and, let's hope, some great weather - just how a Wedding should be! The good weather, and the feel-good factor that comes with it, seems to be encouraging people to go for that long-delayed family portrait too, and bookings have picked up nicely for the next month. All this and a new exhibition from the middle of May, eh?
Man, life is sweet...

May Day, May Day..

Did your Mum ever tell you that, if you wanted a nice complexion, you should splash your face with dew on the morning of the first of May? I must have looked a right loon rubbing my eight-year-old mush with water from our scrappy front lawn. Didn't work, though, did it? Maybe it was just Mum's way of making sure I had a wash before school! Aw....

The first of the month means, of course, that my Twelve for '13 project is updated, and today's picture is one from a new set of 76 shots available online. This time we move through subjects as varied as workers' portraits at Gardner Diesels in Eccles, to kids playing on Foxhill Road - where I grew up - to the Firemens' strike of '77 and even .. a Fleetwood Mac concert at Maine Road! You want variety? Just click here...