Big smiles ..

My 'Wedding Season' is now up and running again proper, and it's great to be back at the coalface of creative, quick-thinking photography. Saturday's Wedding was a blast. You can have a look at it here. Could you get a happier looking couple than Adele and Nick? They had a ball! I was at Rookery Hall, near Nantwich in Cheshire, and thank God the weather played ball or I'd have been unable to use any of the beautiful landscape and backdrop for my photographs. Actually, after Saturday's Blog about bad weather, I think my smile was just as wide.

It certainly was after I was 'photo-bombed' by the cheeky little flower girl..

You have to laugh ..

It's freezing cold, blowing a gale and raining on and off. The ground is soaked, the skies are grey and .. I'm off to Rookery Hall to shoot a Wedding!  Never mind, the show must go on. It'll buck up later, and all those other clichés ..
Still, you have to laugh!..

PS: It's half an hour since I wrote today's blog. The sun is out, and blue sky is beginning to dominate. I'll be complaining soon that's it's too bright for my photography! Then I'll definitely have to laugh ..

The Winds of Change ..

As their Big Day approaches, a lot of 'my brides' tell me they've consulted the Long-Range Weather Forecast to find out what the weather will be doing on the afternoon of their Wedding. I smile and nod my head and make reassuring 'Hmmm' sounds as they try to convince me of sunshine or a light breeze or - heaven help us - a pea-souper .. and then I tell them that a forecast is just a guess! It's a possibility and a might-be and, even with all the technology in the world, it's always going to be just what 'they' think! When I open the church door at the end of the Wedding ceremony - I tell them - that's my weather forecast!..

After today's election results it shows you the political know-alls were only guessing, as well .. 

Fate ..

I thought this would make a suitable blog shot on the day of the General Election in the UK 'cos, after weeks and weeks of long, drawn-out, bloody boring canvassing, the big day is finally here and we - the people - can have our say at last..

The sign - pointing towards the town of Fate, Texas - is one of the shots in a show I'm part of in Eccles. I'm showing 'It's a Sign' at the Eccles Community Art Gallery for the next couple of weeks. As you know, tomorrow sees the opening of my Joy Division exhibition in Macclesfield and then - believe it or not - I'm nipping over to Eccles to put up yet another exhibition as part of the 'Celebrating Eccles' festival. If you didn't get to see my shots of the town when they were up at The People's History Museum then this is another chance to catch them! They'll be at the Art and Craft House in Monton..

Now all I need is a sign that says 'Put your feet up, Martin' - or is that tempting fate?..

Dream on ..

The sun dropped below the horizon and the warm, tropical waves lapped around his ankles as he paddled, without a care in the world, across the long, golden beach - heading for the ever-so hospitable bar and that first cold beer of the evening...

Or, I spent all day putting up my new Joy Division exhibition in a cold and rainy Macclesfield yesterday and now I'm off to shoot a PR job in not-quite-so-tropical Cheetham Hill in Manchester! More brolly than parasol, I'm afraid but, hey ho, we can all have daydreams..

 

10 years - 25 years - 35 years!

My Joy Division photographs are going on display in Macclesfield this week to mark the 35th anniversary of the death of lead singer Ian Curtis. It was only as I was checking through all the work this morning that another date dawned on me. It's exactly ten years ago to the day that the photographs went on display for the very first time in a show I'd wanted to stage to mark the 25th anniversary of his passing. Until then none of this work had been seen .. by anyone! - and I'd decided I wanted to do something on such an important anniversary. I'd hoped to stage the show in the actual Youth Club in which the band performed but, after much searching, came to the conclusion that it didn't exist any more. The nearest venue with space available - at a time nearest to the anniversary - was Hale Library, and they actually only had a five-day slot for me to exhibit. In the end that went down to four days as the library was used as a Polling Booth on the Thursday!
Bloody elections!..

The work that's going up at Charles Roe House is the original set of prints and frames from that first Hale Library exhibition. I hope you can get down to see it ..    

Stories ..

A writer who's just had a play performed on Radio 4 was in touch this week asking to see more of my work. Apparently she's hoping to get 'inspiration' for new stories from the characters in my photographs. At the same time, this photograph from my archive popped up on a Facebook 'Eccles' page, and a stream of posts began to flow following its appearance. The thing is, the comments weren't about the cheeky chappy in the shot - rather, they were about the graffiti in the background. The word ROGUE had been sprayed or chalked onto the concrete that forms part of the multi-story car-park and, for me, it works simply as a humorous 'label' for the man, who seems to be smokin' a fag in sheer defiance of everyone around him. It turns out that this word apparently appeared all over Eccles, and it was written by a glue-sniffing young lad who, it seems, sadly subsequently fell/jumped to his death during one last graffiti session! Jeepers! Who needs to make up stories?...

Reasons to smile ..

Two pictures for the price of one today, and two reasons to smile at work yesterday..

I was shooting some corporate portraits in Liverpool, and the marketing chap I was speaking to was telling me about his friend who had become a 'famous' model - appearing over him as a 50 foot high poster when he went down to London one time. "He gets paid thousands, and travels all over the world.." the chap was saying "He hates it. He wants to be a photographer!" "Hold on there, my friend.." I spluttered "Give your pal a good talking to! I think he'd soon realise which side of the camera the money is on .."

Then, last night, I was shooting a publicity event in Manchester when a man in a snazzy suit came up and said "Silly question, but do you live in Culcheth?.." "Yes.." I said "Do you?.." He said he did and told me he recognised me as I'd done a family portrait shoot for them once. "Great.." I said "So what brings you here tonight?.." "I'm the MD of this company.." he said "The picture you did for us is still framed in our toilet!"..

Anyway, why two pictures? Well, the bottom one is the shot of my cousin I did when he was fixing my car in his socks. The second shot is from the strip of negs I found when my entire shelving system fell down in the office recently. Good news from bad! Another reason to smile ..

Up in smoke ..

"I hate smoking" ..
"I know you do.." said the guy I was talking to "I read your blog!"..

Well that was a nice surprise though, sadly, the reason the subject had cropped up was because I was telling him that my aunt had just died - yet another of 'the clan' who's succumbed to smoking-related illnesses (Note the plural!) ..

It's such a disgusting habit and, despite the indoor smoking ban, there's still no getting away from it. There are empty fag packets all over the place, and you can't walk more than a couple of feet before you come across a discarded cigarette end. Even the doorways to the shopping centre where I have my studio is 'guarded' by two bloody great big ash-trays at the entrances. Very classy!..

So, to the three schoolgirls from Culcheth High School I saw smoking the other day ..
Please, for your sakes - and mine - stop!..

Nepal ..

I wanted to show you another of my travel shots from Nepal. One day when I was trekking near Pokhara I heard the cutest chorus of voices singing the most charming little song, and couldn't resist going to find them to take a photograph. With me I had a top-end Sony Walkman - remember them? - which was special in that it had a recording facility on it, so I asked them if they'd sing their song for me again, this time into my microphone. By sheer coincidence I was listening to that recording last week - I do wish I could find a way to let you hear it - and I said to Lesley "I wonder what became of those kids!"

My God, I'm certainly wondering that now .. 

The flip of a coin ..

What awful news has been the earthquake in Nepal. My heart goes out to all the lovely people of the country. I was lucky enough to spend time in Kathmandu and Pokhara - both severely affected by the disaster - and I really hope that all the people I met and photographed there are safe..

Hearing of the boat disasters in the Mediterranean also brings a shudder. I once covered a story in Libya and, to get there, I made a God-awful 14 hour ferry crossing from Malta to Tripoli - and back again! Shocking to think these are the very waters that are taking people to their deaths. By the same reasoning, I suppose, I've been to the top of the World Trade Centre at least three times and, like everyone else, have trusted my life to pilots I've never met or will ever know.. 

Life is just a flip of a coin, isn't it? Pure luck decrees where you live, how healthy you are, what abilities you are given and what will happen to you on any given day. Today, with my thoughts going out to all those poor people, I'm just appreciating how lucky I am. I hope you do the same..

Bogies ..

I'm really lucky in that I don't generally have to 'do' rush hour. I can normally time my work so that I don't have to throw myself at the mercy of the roads whilst everyone else is on them. Yesterday, though, I had no choice. I was shooting a PR job that finished at 5.30 so had no option but to join the 19 mile car park that was the M6 northbound. Ironically, I'd been photographing a replica DeLorean 'Back to the future' car at a corporate function. Oh, for a Mr Fusion Reactor now, I thought to myself, as I wedged into the throng. But oh, what fun it was! What a great opportunity to 'people watch'. My favourites were the lady having a really lively conversation on her hands-free, using both hands to gesticulate wildly .. whether or not her car was actually moving; the lady who sat so close to her steering wheel that I can't believe her horn wasn't blaring constantly, and the fat man in the white 64 reg Mercedes who spent about 3 miles in the jam picking his nose .. and eating it! I think he'd gone back in time to being a three year old ... 

Oh, the memories ..

Suddenly, it's all happening! The blossom's out, leaves are unravelling at a pace and the Wedding season is kicking off good and proper! It's time to make some memories!..

Actually, I'm back to my old tricks! This morning I drove 36 miles to check out a venue at which I'm shooting a Wedding in July, only to arrive at the gates and shout 'Damn! I've been here before!'
Doh, me and my memory! ..

Not so much a Wedding as a Vow Renewal to photograph this week, though I'll treat it exactly like a Wedding, of course. It's only the second one I've ever shot .. as far as I can remember!

PS: Now that the feel-good factor is back I've chosen a suitably vibrant shot from my Florescence range to go with the mood!..

Good gear ..

Well, there it is! The entire 'Made in Eccles' exhibition - clothes pegs, washing lines and all! (You'll know what I mean if you saw it!) Doesn't look much, does it? I took it down from the People's History Museum this morning after two months on show. I've yet to have a good look at the Comments Book but brief glances reveal notes like "Thanks for the great memories" - "As good as Martin Parr" and, one of my favourites from a 13 year old "Great pictures that made me laugh"
Cheers for that, Molly!..

So, on to the next one, and that's going to be a Joy Division 'celebration' at Charles Rowe House in Macclesfield in May. No laughs here, but great memories of a fantastic band. Opens May 17th!..

I've decided I want to become a Nikon Ambassador! I occasionally see photographers who describe themselves thus on their websites, and I think I ought to be up there as well. After all, I've been using Nikon gear since at least about 1979 so I reckon 99% of all my professional shots have been on Nikon gear, and look how well they all turned out. So yes, folks! That's NIKON gear, wonderful equipment..

Stop press: No word from them  .. yet!

Late ..

Too late! You missed it! My 'Eccles' exhibition at The People's History Museum in Manchester ended yesterday. That was quick! By all accounts it's gone down very well and I can't wait to pop back there tomorrow and pick up the Comments Book..

Sadly, something else ended yesterday. My Auntie died. Born in Northern Ireland but a resident of Eccles for the best part of her life, she was the mother of the lads in today's shot - my cousins, obviously - although poor Ricky, on the right, died many years ago.

Thank God for photographs .. 

Just for the record ..

I suppose I should be really pleased that today is 'Record Store Day' but I can't help feeling that a title like that is hung around the neck of 'things that need a bit of a boost.' You know the kind of thing - National Verruca Day, Support your local Catholic Priest, Let's hear it for Herpes ..  that kind of thing! So I should be really happy that 'they' are plugging local record shops today..

I guess they mean vinyl when they talk about records. Well, of course they do Martin, that's what records are! Well, yip yip, let's hear it for vinyl but, holy moley, have you seen the price of vinyl these days? Jeez! Download me a file, any day! Mind you, that's easy for me to say that as I sit on my pile of lovely, sexy, shiny, dusty, scratchy, sleeves-bent-at-the-edgy, memories-by-the-million, so-much-part-of-me-you-can't-believe-it .. records and, if you follow me on Facebook you'll know I'm partial to taking the odd snap as I spin my discs - as Tony Blackburn might say - on my ageing Technics turntable. Just for the record, you understand!..

Click out the screen grabs above! Happy plastic ..

I know that bum ..

I've been contacted by someone who recognised their bum on my blog! Just as I concentrate on my Travel photography, I get a message out of the blue from an old pen-pal in The States! Yet another amazing coincidence!..

I stayed with Vallerie in Concord, New Hampshire, after she and I began writing to each other about 1980. I'd written to the Tourist Board in Manchester, NH, saying that I lived in Manchester UK and ..  would anyone like a pen-pal? Val's Mum worked in the office and took my letter home, telling Val to 'write to this English guy!' ..

Well, we corresponded - long before email and Skype, of course - then finally got to meet in '82, when I spent two months travelling around America on a £200 Continental Airlines pass. Man, what a trip that was. I was so broke that I used to sleep in airports then fly somewhere just so's I'd get fed on the 'plane! Sounds like I was the bum, actually! ..

Great to hear from you, Vallerie ..

It's a sign ..

Not so much a blog today as a screaming great advert for my latest exhibition! A new set of work called 'It's a Sign' has gone up at the Eccles Community Art Gallery after they were let down by an artist and sent out a 'Mayday' for somebody to fill the space! The work is a collection of travel photographs rendered to look abstract in Photoshop - the very software I normally vow to use only to 'tidy up' an image - Oops! It's looking good, though, and will be on display every Saturday and Tuesday until the middle of May..

Actually, now that I think about it, I'm going to design a page on my website for the images..

Laters..

Everything happens for a reason ..

Everything happens for a reason - so they say - and, after the day I've just had, I can only nod my sad, tired head in agreement!..

What happened? I found a negative I've been looking for for ages! Hurrah! It's this one, the shot of my cousin fixing my old car .. without his shoes on! It's so funny! Been looking for it for ages ..

The reason I found it? The entire shelving system in my office fell down!

I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was terrible (©Morrissey 1984 .. ish!) ..

Yes, all the shelves in my office fell down and I don't know why. Well, apart from the fact that they were stacked chock full of negatives, prints, magazines, picture frames, empty beer bottles - or important souvenirs from travels around the world, as I call them -  sample wedding albums, Florescence table mats (Heavy!) Joy Division prints.. etc, etc., etc ...

All I can say is that my office floor looked rather tragic on Monday evening. Broken glass, torn magazines, scattered prints and ... whoa, hang on! I've been looking for that neg for ages!..

So, guess what? What happened happened and now, with hindsight and a negative filed in its rightful place, I can breath again and smile. The irony is that the car my cousin is trying to fix lead eventually to me being 'laid off' from Cheshire County Newspapers. As the junior photographer on the 'paper in '82 I was expected to supply my own car. Everyone else had a staff car. However, I was never in a position to afford a good enough car to do the job. Out you go, O'Neill! Being made redundant was one of the worst things that had ever happened to me, but it resulted in me going freelance and, er .. the rest is history.

Everything happens for a reason, eh?...  

All show ..

Easy when you know how and, thanks to a photography workshop I've just held, a few more keen amateur snappers have got to grips with how to use the aperture on their cameras. This demonstration of depth-of-field  - achieved by the mere twiddle of a thumb - was just one of the exercises we worked through on my first ever 'Walk in the park' tuition event on Saturday afternoon. I'm delighted to say it went really well and I really enjoyed showing people the basics of camera operation. Messages that have come in such as "I think I've cracked it" have really spurred me on to do another event very soon, too. Thanks to all the 'students' who braved the chilly Spring breeze to come along ..

I've been meaning to tell you about a new exhibition I'm going to have in Eccles but, believe it or not, I've now had another show offered to me that'll take place before the first one even goes up! Strewth, dudes, it's non-stop! I have a meeting about it tomorrow and I'll tell you about everything then. In the meantime, just a quick reminder that this is - sob, sob - the final week of my show at The People's History Museum in Manchester. Get on down there ..

Bloody hell, it's Ted Edwards ..

Blimey! You wait for one reason to write about the Sahara, then another one turns up on the very same day! Yes, folks, as coincidences go, yesterday's was one of the best I've had in a long time!..

You might recall I mentioned the Sahara in yesterday's blog, which was on the theme of travel. I was telling you that I'd been sifting through lots of my old travel photographs to make a new webpage on my site, and mentioned that a cloud of sand and dust was blowing up to the UK from the desert. Anyway, after writing the piece I headed off to sunny old Eccles where some of my archive photographs are going to go on display - more on that soon - and then I nipped into Morrison's to get me tea and some lagers. Well, guess who I bumped into! Only Ted Edwards, that's who! After all these years! Ted bloody Edwards, in the flippin' flesh..

Ted Edwards? Ted Edwards is a long-time resident of Eccles - a former folk singer and peripatetic teacher - who, in 1983, took it upon himself to walk - alone - through what's called the Empty Quarter of the Sahara Desert! The BBC did a great programme about it, with a wonderful opening shot of Ted in a cowboy hat getting on the 166 bus at Eccles bus station - next stop Timbuktu! I did some pix for the MEN at the time. Anyway, the trip nearly bloomin' killed him! One of his camels stood on one of his canteens of water and meant he ran out of good old H2O long before he was meant to! It was only a chance meeting with some Bedouins who took him to a well that saved his life. Anyway, I've always rated Ted for doing that and he's been high on my list of 'top blokes' ever since. Thing is, not so many years after his adventure, poor old Ted had a stroke and the last time I saw him - maybe sometime in the early 90s - he was hobbling about on a walking stick and having one hell of a time even trying to talk to anyone. Imagine that for an explorer who used to sing for a living! Now Ted's in a mobility scooter, still wearing a stetson and sporting badges on his jacket from his travels..

Well, of course I pounced on him, told him of my admiration and - hey, you gotta do it - booked him in for a portrait shoot next week! Ted Edwards, I salute you!..
 

Hit the road, Jack ..

There's a cloud of dust and sand blowing up into the UK from the Sahara today, and its timing couldn't be more appropriate as I'm suffering a severe bout of wanderlust this morning! I decided I'd add a Travel Photography page to my website and so, yesterday, set off trawling through files and files of colour slides of trips I've taken in the past. Big mistake! I'm now absolutely pining for journeys I've made and places I've been and seen. Tahiti! Brazil! Australia! Noo Yoik!!
Oh, I wanna go back..

Still, it's a good job I took photographs, eh? And all on good old Kodachrome, too! Kodachrome 64, pushed to 80 ASA, if you're interested! I got through boxes and boxes of the stuff over the years and ok, the slides take up space but, call me old-fashioned, I really love having folder after folder of physical, tangible images to pick up and look at. You won't be saying that when you can't find your iphone holiday shots of Greece, will ya?..

Anyway, here's me, pointing out where I was during a trip around Australia. On the Nullarbor Highway, since you ask! And where am I hitting the road to today?
Eccles! I'll tell you about that trip tomorrow ..

A nice pair ..

I've been busy getting together another selection of archive images to send to The Mary Evans Picture Library in London, the new representatives of the 'Martin O'Neill Collection' (Ooh, I love saying that!)  ..

Anyway, I started to spot images that work really well together, and spent half my time pairing up shots that I thought might make a good exhibition. You can also read this as getting distracted, not concentrating and/or wasting my morning. Nevertheless it's been a fun exercise, and I've started a folder of pictures which I shall treat you to sporadically. Probably when I can't think of anything to write which .. er, hasn't happened yet, so don't hold yer breath! ..

Anyway, there I go again, writing a blog when I'm supposed to be sorting images! Oh, hang on, there's another nice pair ..

Handy ..

Meet my new assistant! Ellie has just turned two and already fancies herself as a photographer! Blimey, and I thought I started young! I loved the fact she began to copy me with her toy as I was taking pictures over Easter, and it was beautiful to watch how everything is of interest to their growing, ever-curious brains..

On the subject of learning, this Saturday I'm running my first ever group Shoot'nTutor session, with a handful of keen snappers gathering in Culcheth for a two-hour hands-on workshop. It's a handy run-through of the basic controls of the camera. (Wow, that's a lot of hands!) I just hope no-one brings along one of them there SnailPix 25 digital .. er, cameras!..

Ps: Two places still available! 2pm Saturday -  £25 each

Time flies ..

There's a pub at the end of the runway at Manchester Airport and it's one of my favourite places to go! I've been drinking there for years and years. A good pint of Guinness and the kerosene waft of a Boeing Triple Seven as it taxis towards the threshold. Heaven!..

Well, heaven just got better. The Airport Pub's been 'done up', and a visit there yesterday was my first time back since the refurbishment. Like, wow! It's absolutely changed beyond all recognition - well, apart from the fact that jet planes still keep whizzing in front you every few minutes! It's got an amazing aviation theme to it now - surprise, surprise - with great food and a really good buzz to it. Add to that the gorgeous sunshine yesterday - and a get-together with one of my oldest journo pals - and it made for the most perfect of Easter Sundays. This is my mate, by the way, snapping the pub's star draw - the Emirates A380 - as it trundled down towards us before take-off..

Of course, despite all the aviation excitement, our conversation inevitably drifted back to 'the old days' when we both began working on newspapers together, and he reminded me of the time a Boeing 737 caught fire on the runway. He worked for BBC Radio Manchester by this time, and was the first reporter on the scene of that horrible accident. That, folks, was 30 years ago this year! I then told him my story of the time I'd brought a girl to the pub, one warm Sunday afternoon exactly - as the newspapers reminded us this week - 25 years ago. Half way through a pint, my bleeper went off and I dropped everything - including, I blush to say, the girl! - and headed off back to work. It seems a riot had started at Strangeways Prison..

Call the Fire Brigade ..

I was shooting an Awards Ceremony last night for The Greater Manchester Fire Service when a young lady came up to me and said "I know you!" I reached into my pocket, assuming I owed her money but, for once, that wasn't the reason.
"You photographed my sister's Wedding at Portmeirion" she said..

Well, we narrowed it down and it turns out I did photograph her sister's Wedding at Portmeirion and, by coincidence, have just published a few of those photographs as a venue page on my website. Anyway - guess what - her sister was at the ceremony 'cos her husband - the groom! - was there to receive a Long Service Medal from the Lord Lieutenant of Greater Manchester. What a lovely coincidence, and I couldn't wait to get home and post a picture on Facebook for them. In return I got this lovely message "Thanks Martin. Lovely surprise to c u there, lots of lovely comments about your work tonight"

This morning, they've also returned the photo favour by posting a picture of their own from the ceremony. There's Paul, receiving his medal from the gaffer and lo .. check out the serial killer lurking in the corner! It's me, it's me! Someone call the fire brigade ..

Done! Done well ..

Phew! That's that done! It's the morning after the night before and all I can say is .. it was bloody brilliant! My Wedding Fayre has been a great success and everyone is saying how very well it all went. A massive thank-you to all the exhibitors and visitors who braved Arctic weather conditions to get out to The Culcheth Arms. I'm so pleased and - yes, let's be honest - relieved that it all worked out so well. In fact, do you know what? I'm going to do it all over again! Not 'til Autumn, mind .. but the early feedback is so good that I think the Wedding suppliers of Culcheth would be daft if we ignored the local interest that we all got last night..

So, PR head back on today and back into Manchester for the second day's coverage of a Corporate workshop. I couldn't avoid listening in on the speakers yesterday and I'm already an expert on global positioning, market share and commercial propositioning! I'm just happy that all I'm there for is to take photographs! Later on I'm photographing an Awards ceremony at The Imperial War Museum North. I shall certainly enjoy the fact that someone else has had to do all the organising..

It's the Big Day ..

Well, it's finally here! Six weeks in the planning, it's The Culcheth Wedding Fayre this evening and I can't wait! We've got a fantastic range of Wedding services on show, including one hell of a good photographer! ..

Funnily enough, I was sent this photograph last night from a couple whose Wedding I shot .. 12 years ago! Man, it brought back memories!  Just look at my set-up! I used to shoot on a Mamiya RZ67 camera and when I wanted to go up my ladder to shoot the group shot I used to just tie the legs of my tripod to the struts of the ladder with bungy straps! Health and Safety? Pah!...

Anyway, I've got an afternoon at a PR shoot before I can put on my 'Wedding head'. I'll let you know tomorrow how tonight went..

No pressure ..

It's my Wedding Fayre tomorrow, and all the signs point to a really good evening at The Culcheth Arms. There'll be at least 16 Wedding exhibitors attending, which is pretty good going when you think there'll be only one representative there from each kind of Wedding 'service'...

Funnily enough, I had to photograph a bride yesterday who wasn't getting married!! Well ok, she is, but not for a couple of weeks! She's off to Italy to tie the knot but wanted some shots with an older relative who can't make the trip, so she had the full make-up and hair-do job and put on her dress for our photo-session. Chatting away to the relative, she mentioned that she used to be good friends with Harry Goodwin, who used to come round to her house and photograph her children. Goodwin was the original Top of the Pops photographer and erstwhile snapper of the Beatles and, well, just about everyone else who ever went on the programme. So, no pressure there, then!!...
 

What are the odds? ..

Vodaphone annoyed me this week! During the Cheltenham Gold Cup I had a marketing text from them offering me some kind of betting discount on one of the horse races. I texted STOP to the number they included to opt out of that kind of harassment, but it failed to send. A few days back I got another text, this time offering a bet on the Liverpool v Manchester United game. I texted STOP again and, again, it failed, so I rang up Islamabad or Karachi or wherever it was and told them I wanted the texts to stop. I don't bet - aside from the odd scratch-card- and don't want to be lured down the slippery slope that is gambling addiction! I might become hooked, for flip's sake! Ok, only joking, but I did tell them the texts were very annoying. After a lot of cross-continental keyboard tapping the lovely lady promised me she'd sorted out the problem and I wouldn't receive any more marketing texts. Within half an hour Vodaphone sent me four more texts, asking me how I'd rate their service!!..

The Wedding picture? Oh, it's got bugger all to do with the blog! I just haven't got any photos of Asian phone-company call-centre staff. What are the odds on that?..   

Elvis back in the studio ..

I got to photograph Elvis recently! Yeah, Elvis! Here he is - in Culcheth Photo Studio -  all floppy ears and everything, with his young owner and a bag of hidden biscuits! He's called Elvis? Well, of course .. 'cos he ain't nuthin' but a hound dog .. hah ha! Brilliant! Thanks very much for letting me share this, guys! Lovely picture! Who says you should never work with children and animals?..

Actually, I'm hoping I'll be shooting a lot more pets at the studio soon, and I'll have a bit of news on that front to announce to you by the end of the month! I can't say a lot at the mo but it's looking like I'll be part of a huge promotion that's kicking off in April. Bated breath, and all that! Stay tooned ..

Oh, owls! Did I mention I was photographing owls yesterday as well? Yeah, it's becoming a bit of an animal week all round. I was at a Wild Bird Centre to shoot a quick PR job and Mumbles, the star, spent most of the event showing off his amazingly twisty head by turning it 180 degrees away from the camera. Still, patience is a virtue and we got this beauty of a shot in the bag as he - cue poor joke - tried to leave the building .. 

Hands on ..

I was covering a kind of corporate PR 'head-to-head' meeting yesterday, with lots of companies informally chatting with people needing advice about business. It was really lively and interesting and even I gave out a few business cards to people who I thought I might be able to work with in the future. Thing is, as I was photographing around the room, I began to notice just how much people were using their hands to communicate and, before I knew it, I'd started to shoot all this incredible, fast-moving action. It was amazing just how almost everyone involved their hands in their communicating, and I wondered if I was actually photographing a disappearing skill. I thought it was kind of sad that kids today only use their hands to text. Will we one day, I wonder, live in a world where everyone does everything via a screen? Where face-to-face is on Skype and conversational subtlety is lost with the wrong use of a 'lol' or a 'wtf'? Hm! Not the kind of world I want to live in. I like real people to have a hand in my life ..

You live and learn ..

My ever-so-clever IT dude has advised me to make up some pages on my website for specific venues I've photographed. Peckforton Castle, Willington Hall, Styal Lodge etc., etc... and it's whilst I was making a page for Worsley Court House that I remembered a funny thing that happened there..

I'd arrived at the venue and was shooting prelim stuff like the groom greeting guests and so on, and a couple of young musicians began to set up at the back of the room. Soon the violin and cello were being put through their paces as the lads tuned up and got their fingers limber. I thought it a little odd that, when they were chatting to the groom, he seemed to have no idea which tune had been chosen to be played as the bride entered the room but, as luck would have it, the bride and groom had decided to walk down the aisle together, so the groom was waiting at the back of the room when the bride arrived. She took one look at the musicians and said .. "Who are you?" The poor lads had arrived at the venue a day early, and packed up their gear with blazing red faces! Unfortunately, my suggestion that they carried on playing fell on deaf ears but there you go. They were young and inexperienced, but I'll bet they won't be making that mistake again ..

Keep your eye out ..

Well it's here! The big day has arrived, and I'm so lucky I'm able to stay at home this morning. We're finally having an Ikea delivery after a three week wait!..

I hope this momentous event doesn't get in the way of my astronomical observations!
Yes, folks .. not long now until the real big event of the morning, and I've already got my safety measures in place. I'll be watching the eclipse through a bottle of Cripple Cock Scrumpy, safe in the knowledge that, by the end of the display, my retinas may be intact but I might have a little trouble with the double vision!..

Actually, I might just watch the transit like everybody else and put the bottle back in the cupboard. After all, it is just a little bit past its sell-by date! It's a souvenir from 1999, the last time we had an eclipse in the UK, when I went down to Cornwall to watch it on my birthday! It was cloudy ..

So, enjoy it .. and keep your eye out for that delivery van, will ya?..

Blog Update!!

Well, that was bloody brilliant! Ikea's been and so has the eclipse!! If anything, the cloud cover we got actually aided in the viewing of the moon's transit, 'cos I couldn't find my old 'eclipse' glasses and started off watching the event through five layers of some of my coloured photography gels! When's the next one? 2016? See you then. I'll keep an eye out ..

Pluckin' great ..

Fantastic to see Wilko Johnson again last night, all the more so 'cos we were just about on the verge of calling him the 'late, great' ..

He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago but has made a miraculous full recovery from the illness and is now back out there again doing what he does best. I didn't go mad on the photography. I just nipped up to the stage barrier to grab a couple of shots of him but that was all. I put the camera down, then, and got on with enjoying the gig. That's the reason I stopped photographing bands all those years back. I'd come out of a gig and ask myself 'Yeah, but what was the music like?" I know what the music was like last night. Pluckin' great ..

I'm on a budget ..

Budget Day! The day of the budget!..

 Actually, I think I'm living in the day of the budget bride, 'cos last week I got asked if I'd shoot a Wedding in Preston for £350 .. and then this week if I'd shoot a Wedding for £200!!..

My God, I know we all like a bargain, but this is getting ridiculous! It's not as if I charge some ludicrous rate for my photography, either! Good grief, I start at £495 and that's hardly bank-breaking when you've just splashed £2K on a dress, is it?
I put my heart and soul into shooting a Wedding. I just wish people were a little keener to reflect that in their remuneration!..

Anyway, that's that off my back! Now, what's the chancellor knocking off a pint of beer?..

My Dad, the Paddy!..

A nice portrait of my old Dad will do nicely to mark St Patrick's Day. Amazing to think he's only about 48 in this shot! Born and bred in Carrickfergus, just down the coast from Belfast, he never lost his Irish accent and would growl in annoyance when his buddies in Eccles asked him which part of Scotland he came from! Half a Guinness and a Jamesons, please. That was his order of choice at the bar and it makes me blush to this day to think that, when he introduced me to 'the black stuff', I had to have it with blackcurrant as it tasted so bitter. Those days, as any of my mates will tell you, are long gone! Well Dad, you'll have to wait 'til I go out tomorrow night but, I promise you, I'll raise a glass or two your dear sweet memory. Happy St. Paddy's day, you old fart .. 

Joy Division, innit ..

So, Martin, thirty-six years ago today. What were you doing? Well, I'm glad you asked, mysterious blog-voice, 'cos I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I was photographing .. hang on, this all sounds very familiar! Ah, I wrote almost the exact same blog yesterday about The Smiths! And now it's the anniversary of my Joy Division photographs. Isn't it funny that they were so close together date-wise? Yes, 36 years ago today I was that spotty 18 year old in an Altrincham youth club shooting Ian Curtis and his merry men and I'm so pleased that my photographs are still as popular today. In fact, I'll be showing a new set of them in Ian's home town of Macclesfield in just a few weeks..

Anyway, I'm going to do the same thing as yesterday and offer buyers - for today only - an upgrade on any print they order. You'll get a £75 print for just £50. Go on, mark the anniversary in style..

The Smiffs, innit ..

So, Martin, thirty-one years ago today. What were you doing? Well, I'm glad you asked, mysterious blog-voice, 'cos I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I was photographing The Smiths at Manchester's Free Trade Hall. My God! Thirty-one years ago? It can't be! Well, it is! I checked it - took my socks off to count it, and all! So, it might be Friday the 13th but today, folks, is your lucky day. To mark the anniversary of the photographs I'm offering -  for one day only! - the chance to purchase a £75 print for just ... £50!! How's about that? Put your gladioli down and get yourselves over to my Smiths website, pronto! Just add a note in the comments section and I'll sort things out for you. After all, Heaven knows you don't want to be miserable now, do you?..

Just remember ..

I've always been one for a good browse around a charity shop and, the other day, I picked up a pristine copy of 'Meet Joe Black', with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins. I brought it home to find .. we'd already got it! "Oh.." I said, scratching my head "I'd forgotten we'd got that!" Now ok, we all have lapses of memory, but mine was nothing like the one I read of at the weekend. There was a feature on the forthcoming trip into space by Sarah Brightman. It's reported to be costing her about £35m!! Bloody hell, I thought, this woman's got too much money. That was before I read the next bit. Turns out she once bought an apartment in New York .. and forgot she had it! She was in the city with a friend once when she realised that they needn't have been staying in a hotel, because she'd got this swanky pad in the middle of downtown!! Aye Caramba! Oh, for memory lapses like that one!..

Anyway, before I forget, I've started a new Facebook page for my studio. I've called it Culcheth Portrait Studio because - well, let's be honest - no-one's going to remember the name of Studio54 when they're looking for a portrait studio, are they? So, Culcheth Portrait Studio it is and today's photo is the cover shot that you'll see when you log on. You are going to log on, aren't you? Don't forget..

No Smoking? Bring it on ..

I was waiting for a train yesterday morning, all alone on a platform which backed on to a farmer's field. The sun was shining, a wren was singing in the hedge and a skylark was chirping overhead. I breathed in deeply, felt warmth on my face. It was a delight. Suddenly, I became aware of the smell of cigarettes, and turned round to find a young lad had joined me on the platform and promptly lit up! My moment had gone and I was suddenly forced to breath in the stink of this selfish sod's cigarette. The fact that he kept spitting on the floor only added to his disgusting appearance by my side. "Do you have to do that?.." I asked, turning up my nose. He muttered a few words that seemed to rhyme with plucking, cob and plastered but, fortunately for me, decided to move off down the platform and leave me in peace again..

Man! I hate smoking! I hate the selfishness of smokers and the way they think it's their God-given right to pollute and litter and ruin the atmosphere - in more ways than one - wherever they go. I mean, look at this welcoming sight, which was actually an ash-tray holding open the door of a pub I went in last month! I guess that's to ensure that the smoke actually blew back into the pub so that we non-smokers didn't feel left out!..

It's National No-Smoking Day and I say bring it on! No Smoking! Anywhere! Well, ok, in your own homes. Yes, you can smoke in your own homes and kill yourselves without bothering the rest of us. That'll do fine. Just go away ...  

Tweet nothings ..

According to the 'stats' I have now been 'on' Twitter for five years and put out an astonishing 7,279 tweets! With calculator to hand I've just worked out that that's an average of 3.988 tweets per day and I'd like to know, five years on, just what the bloody hell I've been going on about! What words of wisdom, wit and ..well, who knows? .. I've been broadcasting around the world in all that time..

I had a world-audience on Saturday. A family had gathered together for a group portrait session but two members were missing, as an aunt and uncle live in Australia. Thanks to technology they spent their whole evening - as it was in Oz - watching the proceedings via Skype and a laptop. I even put the screen in the shot and then took a close-up of the far-flung couple to include them in the family photo! Ain't technology wunnerful? Later that day I got a message from the 'Grandad' of the family group. "Photos are bloody brilliant mate" it said. Now that's something to tweet about! ..

Easy when you know how..

Well, aren't I the very vision of the 21st century man? Why, it was only this very morning I added 'Rinse-Aid' to the dishwasher, and then threw a shirt in the tumble-drier and set it to 'Refresh'!..

Impressed, eh? Ok, hands up, I'd never heard of either of those things until Lesley showed me! Still, that's how you learn, innit? And that's why I've decided to hold an afternoon of camera tuition next month. 'A Walk in the park' will be an extension of my 'Shoot and tutor' lesson - an afternoon of hands-on learning for anyone who wants to get to grips with their whizz-bang digital camera. We're going to have a couple of hours in my local park with a little bit of theory and then some practical fun with models to shoot - and all for just £25 per person. It'll be on April 11th and numbers are limited so, like Lesley and the 'Rinse-Aid' .. please pass the message on ..      

Nine out of ten ..

Had a bit of a buzzin' morning in the studio today. I've designed a new poster for an advertising frame on the outside wall of the shopping centre -  do ya like it? - and I've been restocking the shelves with a selection of tasty Florescence products. I also met a lovely couple who've booked me to shoot their  Renewal of Vows ceremony in April. Actually, I'm a little nervous about writing this particular piece, 'cos the 'bride' from this morning revealed that she's quite a regular reader of the blog, and then told me she's .. a former Headmistress! Gulp! Is my grammar accurate? My spelling up to scratch? My punctuation?? Oh, blimey! At least I know my photography's not too bad but still, I'll have my lines done by tomorrow morning, Miss...

Book Day? Book me!..

World Book Day? Brilliant! Book me, World! Book Manchester Wedding Photography, book StudioFiveFour, book Martin O'Neill .. just get this dude on your job! And to go along with the theme, have a shot from my archive! I didn't realise that, 35 years on, that's exactly how I'd been reading my books! Somebody book me an optician!...

All's Fayre ..

I'm fed up of paying good money to participate in a Wedding Fayre only to find I'm just one of three, four or even five other photographers exhibiting at the event. So the question is 'How do you guarantee you're the only photographer at a Wedding Fayre?' Simples! Organise your own! And that's exactly what I've done with The Culcheth Wedding Fayre, which will take place on March 31st at The Culcheth Arms in the village. Yes, a pub! Well, I am the organiser! ..

It's going great, too, and the Fayre is fully booked now with great exhibitors - all local businesses involved in the Wedding World! I have the local branch of Thomas Cook taking part, and a vintage car that featured in the Christmas edition of Downton Abbey will greet visitors as they arrive from the car-park. There'll be only one of every other kind of business at the Fayre too, so brides won't be bombarded with too much confusing information ..

Oh, and did you get the joke? A Wedding Fayre .. in a pub? Culcheth's 'local' Wedding Fayre? Don't worry, no-one else got it, either ..

Cash for Squits ..

I took this shot on an early trip to America, and I remember seeing and hearing, for the first time, adverts there for 'Compensation' claims. Get money for this, get money for that, get money for old bleedin' rope! "Thank God we don't have such a compensation culture at home" I would say .. "We don't blame other people for our misfortunes over in England!"..

Except now, of course .. we do! And I bloody hate it! I mean, I can see the point with the PPI 'scandal' - though even that's been rammed down our throats for far too long now - but I've heard radio ads recently promoting compensation for everything from dodgy dentistry to solar panels that aren't earning you an income. I've totally had enough of 'Had an accident that wasn't your fault?' ads but the best popped up on my Facebook page over the weekend. You can now claim compensation if you got the sh*ts on holiday! I kid you not! 'Holiday spoiled by the squits? No sweat, we'll get you some compensation.' Jeez, I give up! Mind you, thinking about it, with the amount of twiddly bums I've had on my travels over the years, I reckon I'm owed about thirty million quid!
Pay up, you bounders, pay up ...