Good things come in threes ..

Three things happened during my Wedding on Saturday that meant it really stood out from the norm! (Editor's note: There's a norm with Wedding photography??) ..

The venue was our local church in Culcheth, and it was the first time I'd worked with the new vicar. I'll be honest and tell you he laid down the law 'good and proper' as soon as we met, basing - as is so often the case - his entire working relationship with photographers on one bad experience of an idiot with a finger stuck to his motordrive. Well, I'm pleased to report we got on famously, and I know we're going to get on well together from now on ..

The second thing that was different was that the bride lived practically right next-door to the church, and I was able to zip between shooting the bridal preparations at the house to the pub across the road where the groom was er, chilling .. and back to the church to shoot the arrival of guests and so on. It was really convenient! As the bride came out of the house I ran across to photograph her getting into the car - something I'm never normally able to do - and then I jogged back to the church .. photographed her ten second journey .. and then photographed her getting out of the car at the other 'end'. Most amusing ..

The third thing that happened was that I was 'mentioned in dispatches', something that has never happened in all the years I've been shooting Weddings! I was photographing the speeches at the reception and, as usual, that involved a lot of giving out of gifts. Flowers for the Mums, whiskey for the ushers .. that sort of thing. Suddenly, the bride picked up a little bag and said "This is for Martin, our photographer who, I'm sure you'll agree, was really amazing, fantastic and brilliant today" (It was something like that! I can't remember exactly as I was in shock!). But how lovely! A little box of delicious chococlates just for me! So thoughtful. Well, like these young snappers at Saturday's Wedding, they always say good things come in threes..

All's Fayre ..

I'm fed up of paying good money to participate in a Wedding Fayre only to find I'm just one of three, four or even five other photographers exhibiting at the event. So the question is 'How do you guarantee you're the only photographer at a Wedding Fayre?' Simples! Organise your own! And that's exactly what I've done with The Culcheth Wedding Fayre, which will take place on March 31st at The Culcheth Arms in the village. Yes, a pub! Well, I am the organiser! ..

It's going great, too, and the Fayre is fully booked now with great exhibitors - all local businesses involved in the Wedding World! I have the local branch of Thomas Cook taking part, and a vintage car that featured in the Christmas edition of Downton Abbey will greet visitors as they arrive from the car-park. There'll be only one of every other kind of business at the Fayre too, so brides won't be bombarded with too much confusing information ..

Oh, and did you get the joke? A Wedding Fayre .. in a pub? Culcheth's 'local' Wedding Fayre? Don't worry, no-one else got it, either ..

Fayre Enough ..

Well, you know me - I love a good project - and, this morning, I popped the cork on a new undertaking. I've created a Wedding Fayre! I'm holding the Culcheth Wedding Fayre - I still don't know why it's always spelt like that! - on March 31st at the perfectly named Culcheth Arms in .. er, Culcheth! I've got some really good suppliers on board and have already set up a Facebook Event page to promote it. Just need some lovely brides and grooms to come along now! Please spread the word if you know of any loved-up young couples looking to tie the knot!..

Just goes to show you ..

Two passport photographs, and guess which one was chosen as acceptable. Wrong, the one on the left! I know, I can't believe it either but now this poor lady has got to put up with looking - well, let's say 'not at her best' - for the next ten years! I shot her passport picture at the studio last week and was rather dismayed to receive a message telling me it hadn't been accepted. I was flummoxed! That's never happened before! Turns out she'd not gone to the Post Office in our village, but a different one a couple of miles away. As she was in a rush she was 'advised' to go for a new photograph at Max Speilmann's, the photo-shop across the way from the Post Office. The shot on the left is what she was presented with and - to my utter amazement - the one that was accepted by said postal worker! When I told the lady that my shots have always been accepted at our local post office she, out of curiosity, took them in to be checked. All four staff said the shots were fine! Work that one out! Just goes to show you, eh?...

(Ps: Many thanks to Elaine for letting me show you her shots!)

Bargain ..

Fifteen quid! Not bad, eh? Fifteen pounds for a 15 minute photo-shoot and an image of your choice to use on your Facebook profile! Under 21s only, of course, but what a bargain. It's pocket money money, if you see what I mean! Anyway, I had my first two takers on Saturday, and we got some great shots in very little time at all. Charlotte and Nathan came up to the studio and really went for it! It was great fun! Of course, the best part for me was that, after they'd looked on their online galleries, they both had the 'problem' of liking too many shots, and found it hard to narrow their choice to one image. No problemo.. I sell extra images for just £15 each as well! Bargain ..

Twenty-five quid! That's what I managed to pay this weekend for a brand-new roll of backdrop paper. Won it on Ebay and it made me feel 'reet chuffed'! I saved a fortune and it'll allow me to start shooting larger groups in the studio. Ooh, don't you just love a bargain? ..

  

The end of the line? ..

I'm thinking of closing down the studio!

I know it sounds like an April Fool but, sadly, it isn't!
The line I didn't want to write is right there, and it's no joke.

It hasn't worked, basically. Not enough people have come in to be photographed. I hate to say it, I'm sad to say it, I'm even embarrassed to say it, but there you have it. The time, or the place .. or both .. just weren't right for the opening of a new Photographic Studio. But, hey, I gave it a go and now seems the right time to stop chucking dosh at something that doesn't chuck any back! Bottom line is, people are taking their own shots on their phones and, as far as they're concerned... that will do! Amusingly, though, there has been a flurry of interest in the place in just the past few days. Two phone calls have come in asking if .. I could offer an apprenticeship or an opportunity for work-experience, and another two calls have come in asking if .. I'd donate portrait sittings for charity! Ha! Well thank you for the interest in my studio! The crazy thing about raffle prizes is that, when I've given donations in the past, even the winners haven't bothered to come in for their portrait, so what does that tell you about the state of portrait photography in this country?

Anyway - hey ho - I won't go on about it 'cos it might still not happen - just trying to negotiate on the rent and all that kind of thing - but, if nothing comes off and interest doesn't pick up immensely in the next 30 days then that will be the end of that, and StudioFiveFour will bite the bullet in four weeks. I'll have reached the end of the line...

News just in: I've spotted a gap in the market! Now that StudioFiveFour is threatened with closure, I'd like to introduce you to Martin O'Neill, the Culcheth-based photographer who would just love to come round to your place for that all-important family shoot. Book him now on 07860 792660. All aboard...

Have you got that in blue?..

I spent yesterday at Stockport Farmers' Market with my new 'Presently..' range of plants and photographic greetings cards. It was grim! I did not enjoy myself one bit. Hardly anyone came and not many of the people who did bother actually bought anything. I took £16. I won't be doing it again!

The highlight of my day was one lady who took a look at one of my gorgeous red anemones and said ""Oh, that's lovely. Is it real?.." Yes, I replied, it was real. "And is it a garden plant?.." she continued. Yes, I told her, it was a plant for the garden. "Oh.." she said, putting it back down "That's a shame. I haven't got a garden!"
Sigh.....

Well, I never ..

A Police shooting! In Culcheth? What's the world coming to? ..

I interrupt this lazy Sunday afternoon to update you on the shock news this weekend. The police have shot dead a naughty bad man in the next street to mine! Chased him from Manchester and popped him in the car park next to my newsagents last night! I had to walk all the way round the police cordon just to get my Observer this morning! Well, I never ..

A little social-networking...

Enjoyed a nice little get-together last night, 'social-networking' with local business people as varied as a mortgage advisor, a private health provider, the owner of an industrial estate and a South African guy who used to farm chickens and now renovates houses! What a mish-mash! Had a great chat with a lady about music, too. She was raving about my Joy Division photography, and I was in awe of her living in Georgia and drinking coffee at Michael Stipe's bar, but the best thing to come out of it - for me - was the fact that I might be in line to stage a new exhibition of my work! The owner of the deli where we all met - Corvino's, in Culcheth - said she's seen my work online and would love to show it on her walls. Exciting stuff, and I'll obviously keep you informed as to how I get on. Hey, I'll even invite you to the opening. You can network with me .. socially!

Keep that space....

So, you tootle along as a Wedding Photographer, dealing with enquiries as they come in...

You're getting married in 2012? Excellent! Hope I can help! Here are my details... 2013? Lovely, have a price list!    2015? ..    Wow! You like to plan ahead, don't you!..

This week, though, I've had all records shattered! I have had an enquiry from a couple, my lovely reader, who are planning to get married in .. wait for it .. 2017 !!! Oh, my giddy aunt! That's six years away! How the heck do I know what I'll be doing in six years' time, although, ho ho, I do imagine I'll be available!!