Well, I never ..

A Police shooting! In Culcheth? What's the world coming to? ..

I interrupt this lazy Sunday afternoon to update you on the shock news this weekend. The police have shot dead a naughty bad man in the next street to mine! Chased him from Manchester and popped him in the car park next to my newsagents last night! I had to walk all the way round the police cordon just to get my Observer this morning! Well, I never ..