2.2.22

It struck me the other day that I haven't written anything here for a while and so, when I got onto this site, I was surprised to see that, this month alone, eighteen people have already read my blog .. and we're only two days into the month. (And that's without even writing anything since last November!) So I got all pretentious and precious and thought that I must write something new today, simply to please 'all' those interested people.

What to write about was a different matter. (Things are pretty quiet around here these days!) My photography consists only of Instagram posts showing leaves and frost and trees - and, of course, I haven't shot a wedding for a long, long time - so I'm hardly in a position to blow your mind with any new photographic insight.

And then it struck me. Today is 2.2.22 and if that's not reason enough to write a blog then what is? Now then, I've had this picture of my Dad on my computer screen for quite a while now. (He's sticking up TWO fingers! See what I did, there?) The reason for the image is that I've written a book that's kinda, sorta based on the years I spent sharing a flat with him, so I've looked at it a lot when I've been searching for words to put down. It's called 'Page 99, by Joe Bancroft', and I'm very, very, very, very proud of it. Getting anyone else to show any interest in it is another matter altogether. I've now submitted it to .. get this .. eighty-nine literary agents without a sniff of anyone wanting to take it forward. (Make that 90 .. I've literally had another rejection this afternoon!) But keep trying, I hear you say. Think of J.K. Rowling. Well, I've thought about her and it doesn't help in the slightest, thank you very much. No, I think my next move might have to be self-publication. Amazon Kindle beckons, and I'll let you know when I hit my first million.

If anyone out there .. anyone! .. is interested in reading my book then please let me know here. It's all about music, looking for chicks .. oh, and press photography .. and is funny, sad, historically interesting and a fab look at the shared lives of two working-class blokes in 1970s Manchester.

As with all 'authors' I feel that, once it lands in the right place, my book will prove to be very successful. When it is, I'll then unleash my second book on the world and try to get used to all the world renown. My second book? Yes, that's right. I've written TWO!

  

The wait goes on ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"A good read."

"Your powers of description are excellent."

 "The characters are nicely portrayed, to the extent that they're easy to visualise. I can even hear their accents."

 Just some of the compliments coming in for my latest book, called SNAPS, which is out now in .. absolutely no form whatsoever! (So a big thank you to the patient pals who've taken the time to read the stuff I've sent them!)

No, sadly, I still haven't had any publishing interest in my work and am now seeing that as a badge of honour. Hey, if it took 47 attempts to get Booker prize winner Shuggie Bain into print then I'm right on track!

I'm sure success is just around the corner, though. I can feel it in my bones. The best-seller list beckons for both SNAPS and my first book, intriguingly entitled Page 99, by Joe Bancroft. Both are based on photography. 99 is semi-autobiographical, and SNAPS is the completely fictional story of the South Neldon Amateur Photographic Society. Well, they do say 'write about what you know,' don't they?

 So, any literary agents out there reading my blog? I'll be home all day if you want to get in touch!

Meantime, a nice shot of my Mum, taking my picture in about 1974. Question is, where's my Mum's bloody picture of me ..?

It's a long road ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm thinking of having my yacht re-sprayed. It looks so boring in white ..

Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself. When I get a yacht I will no doubt, at some stage, have it re-painted. I will have bought a yacht because the film rights to a book I've written will get taken up by a big Hollywood studio and I'll be assigned the role of artistic director to oversee accurately creative filming. The film rights will have been bought after an unsightly mega-tussle because my book will be such a massive best-seller that all the studios will want to get it to the big screen. The book will have been so successful because nine publishers all wanted to get their hands on it and the highest bidder paid out big styley. The publishers went crazy for the book because seven separate literary agents all wanted to represent me ..

And this is where I wake up again. At the 'literary agent' bit. Yes, I'm having a bit of trouble with that bit. 

Like a zillion other 'writers', I don't seem to be able to get anyone interested in taking it on. By sheer coincidence, I got yet another rejection email this morning but an email from one agent described perfectly to me how hard it is to get selected. She receives, she tells me, five manuscripts every .. what? Every week? Every day? Folks, she receives five manuscripts an HOUR!

So, the yacht, the respray, the mega-tussles .. it'll all have to wait. I've got a long road ahead of me ..   

My latest book ..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So what did you do during the latest lockdown?

Well, I'm glad you asked. I wrote my next book, that's what I did.

And, do you know what, I already have something in common with the Man Booker prize winning novel, Shuggie Bain. Yes, I've been rejected .. already! Hurrah! Only 41 more rejections to go, now.

It's called Page 99, by Joe Bancroft and I've absolutely loved writing it. 85,000 words and a real dive into the world of a young press photographer on a local newspaper. (Where DO I get my ideas??)

So yes, now the fun begins, trying to find an agent that will take my work on board.

Don't worry, I'll still love you when I'm famous!!!

Hey mister, take my picture ..

When you think of great 'street' photographers the names Roger Mayne and Shirley Baker will, naturally, be up there in your top ten. So imagine how delighted I am to have some of my photographs included in a book with some of theirs.
I'm chuffed to bits, as they say ..

The book - 'Paradise Street' - is full of pictures of children playing in the street (A rare sight these days) and has just been published by the renowned Hoxton Mini Press in London. My copy was posted to me yesterday and I can't wait to see it. Not only that but the lady who compiled the collection was interviewed on Radio London last week and gave me a lovely name check. (Cheers, Luci. Back at ya!) Oooh, I'm dizzy with the fame. Touch my robe. Orderly line for autographs ..

The thing is that, thinking back to my 'archive' photographs from the 70s and early 80s, I can only feel sad that those kinds of shots are practically impossible to take these days. Hot on the heels of the Michael Jackson 'revelations', it's a horrible thing to know that, nowadays, a general view of photographers is that we're all perverted pædophiles. Why are you going up to kids in the street with a camera, you weirdo? Even sadder for me is the fact that the poor kids have been drilled to think the same thing. Lift a camera these days and it's the norm now to have 'Pædo' yelled at you by children not even ten years old. The beauty of the photograph of mine that's featured here is that those kids were actively trying to get into my photographs. Their cry of "Hey, mister, take my picture" is a line not many snappers will hear in the sunny twenty-first century. What a difference 42 years makes. Innocence lost, and it makes me sad ..

(Click on the picture to see one of my shots as it appears in the book ..)

Write on!..

How exciting. I've just received a Royalty payment for a book I've written.

If you're not up to speed, I wrote an adventure story called 'The Boy who missed Next Year' and sent it off to a large and varied selection of publishers and agents in the UK. However, for some bizarre reason (!) not one of them wanted to publish it, so I decided to 'self-publish' on Amazon Kindle ..

Well, I'm now pleased to say that I've finished a second book* and am already on track to have this one turned down by just as many publishers. So you can imagine that getting an email telling me I'd actually earnt some money from my first effort was a jolly old boost to the creative ego. I just don't know what the hell I'm going to do with that £1 and three pence!

*The Sun was Sad, by Martin O'Neill. Available very soon on Amazon Kindle. Probably!

Read all about it ..

Venezuela and Slovakia. They're two of the countries from whence I've had reads of my blog this week. The spread of the web goes far, which is just as well as I'm now at the beginning of trying to promote the second part of the book 'wot I wrote'.
I was encouraged this morning by a news article about a young UK author who has suddenly become massive in China. Her book is right up there in the country's Top Ten big reads. There's hope for me yet, I thought, as I waved my heroes out into the Big Wide World. Of course, as soon as I'd tweeted it this morning I was contacted immediately by .. people wanting to promote my book. Well guys, I'm sorry to disappoint you but my promotions budget of zero pounds and zero pence isn't going to get me far with you at all. A far cry from the 'successful' authors I read about who spend thousands every month pushing their works. It's going to have to be 'organic' for my book. Word of mouth, and all that. So the three people that bought Part One of the book - I know, three .. little acorns eh? .. will have to do their utmost to get the news out. Come on Venezuela, come on Slovakia!
We can do this!..

Take that leap, boy ..

I feel a bit weird today - I'm at 'a bit of a loss' ..
I blogged recently about the fact that I've written a book and, since then, I've gone through the manuscript a further three times, tightening it all up and rectifying my rather liberal scattering of exclamation marks!!!..

It's an adventure story written for young adults. It started as a children's book, as it involves a young boy, but evolved into something rather more complicated as I tried to make it all make sense ..  

Now though .. it's finished. After six years writing, it's well and truly done. All 538 pages, all 220,000 words!!! (Oops) ..

So now what? Well, I've already started to get it out to publishers - first rejection email proudly saved - and I'm just waiting for the first suggestion that I "shorten it a bit" .. but it's just the fact that it's not a part of my daily life any more. All the ideas are down in black and white, the plot came to its planned conclusion (Phew..) and there's nothing else to be done with the characters. Or is there? I had my first sleepless night last night as I mashed out the basis of my follow-up book. My heroes will live again. They need me, but oh boy .. not as much as I need them!  I have the writing bug. Time to take the leap into Volume 2 ..


Stop Press: I've had an email from a publisher this afternoon inviting me to submit my full manuscript. I think I'm going to faint ...
 

The write stuff ..

If you follow me on Twitter you'll know I've just finished writing a book. It's a Children's Adventure Story and I started it way back in the 1990s - so far back, in fact, that the original pages are actually all written on my old typewriter, replete with lots of xxxx and Tippex! After only a couple of chapters it got put to one side and lay in a draw until I picked it up again about 6 years ago. It's taken me until now to finally type those magical words - The End !

I can't tell you how good it was to finally finish it, and rather amusing to relate that I didn't realise I had a word and page count on my Mac, so imagine my shock when, last week, I found out I'd written over 221, 000 words - spanning over 533 pages! Gulp!..

I've already submitted my manuscript to several publishers and it's only now that I feel like a proper writer. I've had my first rejection!..