It's the Big Day ..

Well, it's finally here! Six weeks in the planning, it's The Culcheth Wedding Fayre this evening and I can't wait! We've got a fantastic range of Wedding services on show, including one hell of a good photographer! ..

Funnily enough, I was sent this photograph last night from a couple whose Wedding I shot .. 12 years ago! Man, it brought back memories!  Just look at my set-up! I used to shoot on a Mamiya RZ67 camera and when I wanted to go up my ladder to shoot the group shot I used to just tie the legs of my tripod to the struts of the ladder with bungy straps! Health and Safety? Pah!...

Anyway, I've got an afternoon at a PR shoot before I can put on my 'Wedding head'. I'll let you know tomorrow how tonight went..

No pressure ..

It's my Wedding Fayre tomorrow, and all the signs point to a really good evening at The Culcheth Arms. There'll be at least 16 Wedding exhibitors attending, which is pretty good going when you think there'll be only one representative there from each kind of Wedding 'service'...

Funnily enough, I had to photograph a bride yesterday who wasn't getting married!! Well ok, she is, but not for a couple of weeks! She's off to Italy to tie the knot but wanted some shots with an older relative who can't make the trip, so she had the full make-up and hair-do job and put on her dress for our photo-session. Chatting away to the relative, she mentioned that she used to be good friends with Harry Goodwin, who used to come round to her house and photograph her children. Goodwin was the original Top of the Pops photographer and erstwhile snapper of the Beatles and, well, just about everyone else who ever went on the programme. So, no pressure there, then!!...
 

What are the odds? ..

Vodaphone annoyed me this week! During the Cheltenham Gold Cup I had a marketing text from them offering me some kind of betting discount on one of the horse races. I texted STOP to the number they included to opt out of that kind of harassment, but it failed to send. A few days back I got another text, this time offering a bet on the Liverpool v Manchester United game. I texted STOP again and, again, it failed, so I rang up Islamabad or Karachi or wherever it was and told them I wanted the texts to stop. I don't bet - aside from the odd scratch-card- and don't want to be lured down the slippery slope that is gambling addiction! I might become hooked, for flip's sake! Ok, only joking, but I did tell them the texts were very annoying. After a lot of cross-continental keyboard tapping the lovely lady promised me she'd sorted out the problem and I wouldn't receive any more marketing texts. Within half an hour Vodaphone sent me four more texts, asking me how I'd rate their service!!..

The Wedding picture? Oh, it's got bugger all to do with the blog! I just haven't got any photos of Asian phone-company call-centre staff. What are the odds on that?..   

Elvis back in the studio ..

I got to photograph Elvis recently! Yeah, Elvis! Here he is - in Culcheth Photo Studio -  all floppy ears and everything, with his young owner and a bag of hidden biscuits! He's called Elvis? Well, of course .. 'cos he ain't nuthin' but a hound dog .. hah ha! Brilliant! Thanks very much for letting me share this, guys! Lovely picture! Who says you should never work with children and animals?..

Actually, I'm hoping I'll be shooting a lot more pets at the studio soon, and I'll have a bit of news on that front to announce to you by the end of the month! I can't say a lot at the mo but it's looking like I'll be part of a huge promotion that's kicking off in April. Bated breath, and all that! Stay tooned ..

Oh, owls! Did I mention I was photographing owls yesterday as well? Yeah, it's becoming a bit of an animal week all round. I was at a Wild Bird Centre to shoot a quick PR job and Mumbles, the star, spent most of the event showing off his amazingly twisty head by turning it 180 degrees away from the camera. Still, patience is a virtue and we got this beauty of a shot in the bag as he - cue poor joke - tried to leave the building .. 

Hands on ..

I was covering a kind of corporate PR 'head-to-head' meeting yesterday, with lots of companies informally chatting with people needing advice about business. It was really lively and interesting and even I gave out a few business cards to people who I thought I might be able to work with in the future. Thing is, as I was photographing around the room, I began to notice just how much people were using their hands to communicate and, before I knew it, I'd started to shoot all this incredible, fast-moving action. It was amazing just how almost everyone involved their hands in their communicating, and I wondered if I was actually photographing a disappearing skill. I thought it was kind of sad that kids today only use their hands to text. Will we one day, I wonder, live in a world where everyone does everything via a screen? Where face-to-face is on Skype and conversational subtlety is lost with the wrong use of a 'lol' or a 'wtf'? Hm! Not the kind of world I want to live in. I like real people to have a hand in my life ..

You live and learn ..

My ever-so-clever IT dude has advised me to make up some pages on my website for specific venues I've photographed. Peckforton Castle, Willington Hall, Styal Lodge etc., etc... and it's whilst I was making a page for Worsley Court House that I remembered a funny thing that happened there..

I'd arrived at the venue and was shooting prelim stuff like the groom greeting guests and so on, and a couple of young musicians began to set up at the back of the room. Soon the violin and cello were being put through their paces as the lads tuned up and got their fingers limber. I thought it a little odd that, when they were chatting to the groom, he seemed to have no idea which tune had been chosen to be played as the bride entered the room but, as luck would have it, the bride and groom had decided to walk down the aisle together, so the groom was waiting at the back of the room when the bride arrived. She took one look at the musicians and said .. "Who are you?" The poor lads had arrived at the venue a day early, and packed up their gear with blazing red faces! Unfortunately, my suggestion that they carried on playing fell on deaf ears but there you go. They were young and inexperienced, but I'll bet they won't be making that mistake again ..

Keep your eye out ..

Well it's here! The big day has arrived, and I'm so lucky I'm able to stay at home this morning. We're finally having an Ikea delivery after a three week wait!..

I hope this momentous event doesn't get in the way of my astronomical observations!
Yes, folks .. not long now until the real big event of the morning, and I've already got my safety measures in place. I'll be watching the eclipse through a bottle of Cripple Cock Scrumpy, safe in the knowledge that, by the end of the display, my retinas may be intact but I might have a little trouble with the double vision!..

Actually, I might just watch the transit like everybody else and put the bottle back in the cupboard. After all, it is just a little bit past its sell-by date! It's a souvenir from 1999, the last time we had an eclipse in the UK, when I went down to Cornwall to watch it on my birthday! It was cloudy ..

So, enjoy it .. and keep your eye out for that delivery van, will ya?..

Blog Update!!

Well, that was bloody brilliant! Ikea's been and so has the eclipse!! If anything, the cloud cover we got actually aided in the viewing of the moon's transit, 'cos I couldn't find my old 'eclipse' glasses and started off watching the event through five layers of some of my coloured photography gels! When's the next one? 2016? See you then. I'll keep an eye out ..

Pluckin' great ..

Fantastic to see Wilko Johnson again last night, all the more so 'cos we were just about on the verge of calling him the 'late, great' ..

He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer a couple of years ago but has made a miraculous full recovery from the illness and is now back out there again doing what he does best. I didn't go mad on the photography. I just nipped up to the stage barrier to grab a couple of shots of him but that was all. I put the camera down, then, and got on with enjoying the gig. That's the reason I stopped photographing bands all those years back. I'd come out of a gig and ask myself 'Yeah, but what was the music like?" I know what the music was like last night. Pluckin' great ..

I'm on a budget ..

Budget Day! The day of the budget!..

 Actually, I think I'm living in the day of the budget bride, 'cos last week I got asked if I'd shoot a Wedding in Preston for £350 .. and then this week if I'd shoot a Wedding for £200!!..

My God, I know we all like a bargain, but this is getting ridiculous! It's not as if I charge some ludicrous rate for my photography, either! Good grief, I start at £495 and that's hardly bank-breaking when you've just splashed £2K on a dress, is it?
I put my heart and soul into shooting a Wedding. I just wish people were a little keener to reflect that in their remuneration!..

Anyway, that's that off my back! Now, what's the chancellor knocking off a pint of beer?..

My Dad, the Paddy!..

A nice portrait of my old Dad will do nicely to mark St Patrick's Day. Amazing to think he's only about 48 in this shot! Born and bred in Carrickfergus, just down the coast from Belfast, he never lost his Irish accent and would growl in annoyance when his buddies in Eccles asked him which part of Scotland he came from! Half a Guinness and a Jamesons, please. That was his order of choice at the bar and it makes me blush to this day to think that, when he introduced me to 'the black stuff', I had to have it with blackcurrant as it tasted so bitter. Those days, as any of my mates will tell you, are long gone! Well Dad, you'll have to wait 'til I go out tomorrow night but, I promise you, I'll raise a glass or two your dear sweet memory. Happy St. Paddy's day, you old fart .. 

Joy Division, innit ..

So, Martin, thirty-six years ago today. What were you doing? Well, I'm glad you asked, mysterious blog-voice, 'cos I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I was photographing .. hang on, this all sounds very familiar! Ah, I wrote almost the exact same blog yesterday about The Smiths! And now it's the anniversary of my Joy Division photographs. Isn't it funny that they were so close together date-wise? Yes, 36 years ago today I was that spotty 18 year old in an Altrincham youth club shooting Ian Curtis and his merry men and I'm so pleased that my photographs are still as popular today. In fact, I'll be showing a new set of them in Ian's home town of Macclesfield in just a few weeks..

Anyway, I'm going to do the same thing as yesterday and offer buyers - for today only - an upgrade on any print they order. You'll get a £75 print for just £50. Go on, mark the anniversary in style..

The Smiffs, innit ..

So, Martin, thirty-one years ago today. What were you doing? Well, I'm glad you asked, mysterious blog-voice, 'cos I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I was photographing The Smiths at Manchester's Free Trade Hall. My God! Thirty-one years ago? It can't be! Well, it is! I checked it - took my socks off to count it, and all! So, it might be Friday the 13th but today, folks, is your lucky day. To mark the anniversary of the photographs I'm offering -  for one day only! - the chance to purchase a £75 print for just ... £50!! How's about that? Put your gladioli down and get yourselves over to my Smiths website, pronto! Just add a note in the comments section and I'll sort things out for you. After all, Heaven knows you don't want to be miserable now, do you?..

Just remember ..

I've always been one for a good browse around a charity shop and, the other day, I picked up a pristine copy of 'Meet Joe Black', with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins. I brought it home to find .. we'd already got it! "Oh.." I said, scratching my head "I'd forgotten we'd got that!" Now ok, we all have lapses of memory, but mine was nothing like the one I read of at the weekend. There was a feature on the forthcoming trip into space by Sarah Brightman. It's reported to be costing her about £35m!! Bloody hell, I thought, this woman's got too much money. That was before I read the next bit. Turns out she once bought an apartment in New York .. and forgot she had it! She was in the city with a friend once when she realised that they needn't have been staying in a hotel, because she'd got this swanky pad in the middle of downtown!! Aye Caramba! Oh, for memory lapses like that one!..

Anyway, before I forget, I've started a new Facebook page for my studio. I've called it Culcheth Portrait Studio because - well, let's be honest - no-one's going to remember the name of Studio54 when they're looking for a portrait studio, are they? So, Culcheth Portrait Studio it is and today's photo is the cover shot that you'll see when you log on. You are going to log on, aren't you? Don't forget..

No Smoking? Bring it on ..

I was waiting for a train yesterday morning, all alone on a platform which backed on to a farmer's field. The sun was shining, a wren was singing in the hedge and a skylark was chirping overhead. I breathed in deeply, felt warmth on my face. It was a delight. Suddenly, I became aware of the smell of cigarettes, and turned round to find a young lad had joined me on the platform and promptly lit up! My moment had gone and I was suddenly forced to breath in the stink of this selfish sod's cigarette. The fact that he kept spitting on the floor only added to his disgusting appearance by my side. "Do you have to do that?.." I asked, turning up my nose. He muttered a few words that seemed to rhyme with plucking, cob and plastered but, fortunately for me, decided to move off down the platform and leave me in peace again..

Man! I hate smoking! I hate the selfishness of smokers and the way they think it's their God-given right to pollute and litter and ruin the atmosphere - in more ways than one - wherever they go. I mean, look at this welcoming sight, which was actually an ash-tray holding open the door of a pub I went in last month! I guess that's to ensure that the smoke actually blew back into the pub so that we non-smokers didn't feel left out!..

It's National No-Smoking Day and I say bring it on! No Smoking! Anywhere! Well, ok, in your own homes. Yes, you can smoke in your own homes and kill yourselves without bothering the rest of us. That'll do fine. Just go away ...  

Tweet nothings ..

According to the 'stats' I have now been 'on' Twitter for five years and put out an astonishing 7,279 tweets! With calculator to hand I've just worked out that that's an average of 3.988 tweets per day and I'd like to know, five years on, just what the bloody hell I've been going on about! What words of wisdom, wit and ..well, who knows? .. I've been broadcasting around the world in all that time..

I had a world-audience on Saturday. A family had gathered together for a group portrait session but two members were missing, as an aunt and uncle live in Australia. Thanks to technology they spent their whole evening - as it was in Oz - watching the proceedings via Skype and a laptop. I even put the screen in the shot and then took a close-up of the far-flung couple to include them in the family photo! Ain't technology wunnerful? Later that day I got a message from the 'Grandad' of the family group. "Photos are bloody brilliant mate" it said. Now that's something to tweet about! ..

Easy when you know how..

Well, aren't I the very vision of the 21st century man? Why, it was only this very morning I added 'Rinse-Aid' to the dishwasher, and then threw a shirt in the tumble-drier and set it to 'Refresh'!..

Impressed, eh? Ok, hands up, I'd never heard of either of those things until Lesley showed me! Still, that's how you learn, innit? And that's why I've decided to hold an afternoon of camera tuition next month. 'A Walk in the park' will be an extension of my 'Shoot and tutor' lesson - an afternoon of hands-on learning for anyone who wants to get to grips with their whizz-bang digital camera. We're going to have a couple of hours in my local park with a little bit of theory and then some practical fun with models to shoot - and all for just £25 per person. It'll be on April 11th and numbers are limited so, like Lesley and the 'Rinse-Aid' .. please pass the message on ..      

Nine out of ten ..

Had a bit of a buzzin' morning in the studio today. I've designed a new poster for an advertising frame on the outside wall of the shopping centre -  do ya like it? - and I've been restocking the shelves with a selection of tasty Florescence products. I also met a lovely couple who've booked me to shoot their  Renewal of Vows ceremony in April. Actually, I'm a little nervous about writing this particular piece, 'cos the 'bride' from this morning revealed that she's quite a regular reader of the blog, and then told me she's .. a former Headmistress! Gulp! Is my grammar accurate? My spelling up to scratch? My punctuation?? Oh, blimey! At least I know my photography's not too bad but still, I'll have my lines done by tomorrow morning, Miss...

Book Day? Book me!..

World Book Day? Brilliant! Book me, World! Book Manchester Wedding Photography, book StudioFiveFour, book Martin O'Neill .. just get this dude on your job! And to go along with the theme, have a shot from my archive! I didn't realise that, 35 years on, that's exactly how I'd been reading my books! Somebody book me an optician!...

All's Fayre ..

I'm fed up of paying good money to participate in a Wedding Fayre only to find I'm just one of three, four or even five other photographers exhibiting at the event. So the question is 'How do you guarantee you're the only photographer at a Wedding Fayre?' Simples! Organise your own! And that's exactly what I've done with The Culcheth Wedding Fayre, which will take place on March 31st at The Culcheth Arms in the village. Yes, a pub! Well, I am the organiser! ..

It's going great, too, and the Fayre is fully booked now with great exhibitors - all local businesses involved in the Wedding World! I have the local branch of Thomas Cook taking part, and a vintage car that featured in the Christmas edition of Downton Abbey will greet visitors as they arrive from the car-park. There'll be only one of every other kind of business at the Fayre too, so brides won't be bombarded with too much confusing information ..

Oh, and did you get the joke? A Wedding Fayre .. in a pub? Culcheth's 'local' Wedding Fayre? Don't worry, no-one else got it, either ..

Cash for Squits ..

I took this shot on an early trip to America, and I remember seeing and hearing, for the first time, adverts there for 'Compensation' claims. Get money for this, get money for that, get money for old bleedin' rope! "Thank God we don't have such a compensation culture at home" I would say .. "We don't blame other people for our misfortunes over in England!"..

Except now, of course .. we do! And I bloody hate it! I mean, I can see the point with the PPI 'scandal' - though even that's been rammed down our throats for far too long now - but I've heard radio ads recently promoting compensation for everything from dodgy dentistry to solar panels that aren't earning you an income. I've totally had enough of 'Had an accident that wasn't your fault?' ads but the best popped up on my Facebook page over the weekend. You can now claim compensation if you got the sh*ts on holiday! I kid you not! 'Holiday spoiled by the squits? No sweat, we'll get you some compensation.' Jeez, I give up! Mind you, thinking about it, with the amount of twiddly bums I've had on my travels over the years, I reckon I'm owed about thirty million quid!
Pay up, you bounders, pay up ...