Joy Division, innit ..

So, Martin, thirty-six years ago today. What were you doing? Well, I'm glad you asked, mysterious blog-voice, 'cos I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I was photographing .. hang on, this all sounds very familiar! Ah, I wrote almost the exact same blog yesterday about The Smiths! And now it's the anniversary of my Joy Division photographs. Isn't it funny that they were so close together date-wise? Yes, 36 years ago today I was that spotty 18 year old in an Altrincham youth club shooting Ian Curtis and his merry men and I'm so pleased that my photographs are still as popular today. In fact, I'll be showing a new set of them in Ian's home town of Macclesfield in just a few weeks..

Anyway, I'm going to do the same thing as yesterday and offer buyers - for today only - an upgrade on any print they order. You'll get a £75 print for just £50. Go on, mark the anniversary in style..

The Smiffs, innit ..

So, Martin, thirty-one years ago today. What were you doing? Well, I'm glad you asked, mysterious blog-voice, 'cos I can tell you exactly what I was doing. I was photographing The Smiths at Manchester's Free Trade Hall. My God! Thirty-one years ago? It can't be! Well, it is! I checked it - took my socks off to count it, and all! So, it might be Friday the 13th but today, folks, is your lucky day. To mark the anniversary of the photographs I'm offering -  for one day only! - the chance to purchase a £75 print for just ... £50!! How's about that? Put your gladioli down and get yourselves over to my Smiths website, pronto! Just add a note in the comments section and I'll sort things out for you. After all, Heaven knows you don't want to be miserable now, do you?..

Just remember ..

I've always been one for a good browse around a charity shop and, the other day, I picked up a pristine copy of 'Meet Joe Black', with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins. I brought it home to find .. we'd already got it! "Oh.." I said, scratching my head "I'd forgotten we'd got that!" Now ok, we all have lapses of memory, but mine was nothing like the one I read of at the weekend. There was a feature on the forthcoming trip into space by Sarah Brightman. It's reported to be costing her about £35m!! Bloody hell, I thought, this woman's got too much money. That was before I read the next bit. Turns out she once bought an apartment in New York .. and forgot she had it! She was in the city with a friend once when she realised that they needn't have been staying in a hotel, because she'd got this swanky pad in the middle of downtown!! Aye Caramba! Oh, for memory lapses like that one!..

Anyway, before I forget, I've started a new Facebook page for my studio. I've called it Culcheth Portrait Studio because - well, let's be honest - no-one's going to remember the name of Studio54 when they're looking for a portrait studio, are they? So, Culcheth Portrait Studio it is and today's photo is the cover shot that you'll see when you log on. You are going to log on, aren't you? Don't forget..

No Smoking? Bring it on ..

I was waiting for a train yesterday morning, all alone on a platform which backed on to a farmer's field. The sun was shining, a wren was singing in the hedge and a skylark was chirping overhead. I breathed in deeply, felt warmth on my face. It was a delight. Suddenly, I became aware of the smell of cigarettes, and turned round to find a young lad had joined me on the platform and promptly lit up! My moment had gone and I was suddenly forced to breath in the stink of this selfish sod's cigarette. The fact that he kept spitting on the floor only added to his disgusting appearance by my side. "Do you have to do that?.." I asked, turning up my nose. He muttered a few words that seemed to rhyme with plucking, cob and plastered but, fortunately for me, decided to move off down the platform and leave me in peace again..

Man! I hate smoking! I hate the selfishness of smokers and the way they think it's their God-given right to pollute and litter and ruin the atmosphere - in more ways than one - wherever they go. I mean, look at this welcoming sight, which was actually an ash-tray holding open the door of a pub I went in last month! I guess that's to ensure that the smoke actually blew back into the pub so that we non-smokers didn't feel left out!..

It's National No-Smoking Day and I say bring it on! No Smoking! Anywhere! Well, ok, in your own homes. Yes, you can smoke in your own homes and kill yourselves without bothering the rest of us. That'll do fine. Just go away ...  

Tweet nothings ..

According to the 'stats' I have now been 'on' Twitter for five years and put out an astonishing 7,279 tweets! With calculator to hand I've just worked out that that's an average of 3.988 tweets per day and I'd like to know, five years on, just what the bloody hell I've been going on about! What words of wisdom, wit and ..well, who knows? .. I've been broadcasting around the world in all that time..

I had a world-audience on Saturday. A family had gathered together for a group portrait session but two members were missing, as an aunt and uncle live in Australia. Thanks to technology they spent their whole evening - as it was in Oz - watching the proceedings via Skype and a laptop. I even put the screen in the shot and then took a close-up of the far-flung couple to include them in the family photo! Ain't technology wunnerful? Later that day I got a message from the 'Grandad' of the family group. "Photos are bloody brilliant mate" it said. Now that's something to tweet about! ..

Easy when you know how..

Well, aren't I the very vision of the 21st century man? Why, it was only this very morning I added 'Rinse-Aid' to the dishwasher, and then threw a shirt in the tumble-drier and set it to 'Refresh'!..

Impressed, eh? Ok, hands up, I'd never heard of either of those things until Lesley showed me! Still, that's how you learn, innit? And that's why I've decided to hold an afternoon of camera tuition next month. 'A Walk in the park' will be an extension of my 'Shoot and tutor' lesson - an afternoon of hands-on learning for anyone who wants to get to grips with their whizz-bang digital camera. We're going to have a couple of hours in my local park with a little bit of theory and then some practical fun with models to shoot - and all for just £25 per person. It'll be on April 11th and numbers are limited so, like Lesley and the 'Rinse-Aid' .. please pass the message on ..      

Nine out of ten ..

Had a bit of a buzzin' morning in the studio today. I've designed a new poster for an advertising frame on the outside wall of the shopping centre -  do ya like it? - and I've been restocking the shelves with a selection of tasty Florescence products. I also met a lovely couple who've booked me to shoot their  Renewal of Vows ceremony in April. Actually, I'm a little nervous about writing this particular piece, 'cos the 'bride' from this morning revealed that she's quite a regular reader of the blog, and then told me she's .. a former Headmistress! Gulp! Is my grammar accurate? My spelling up to scratch? My punctuation?? Oh, blimey! At least I know my photography's not too bad but still, I'll have my lines done by tomorrow morning, Miss...

Book Day? Book me!..

World Book Day? Brilliant! Book me, World! Book Manchester Wedding Photography, book StudioFiveFour, book Martin O'Neill .. just get this dude on your job! And to go along with the theme, have a shot from my archive! I didn't realise that, 35 years on, that's exactly how I'd been reading my books! Somebody book me an optician!...

All's Fayre ..

I'm fed up of paying good money to participate in a Wedding Fayre only to find I'm just one of three, four or even five other photographers exhibiting at the event. So the question is 'How do you guarantee you're the only photographer at a Wedding Fayre?' Simples! Organise your own! And that's exactly what I've done with The Culcheth Wedding Fayre, which will take place on March 31st at The Culcheth Arms in the village. Yes, a pub! Well, I am the organiser! ..

It's going great, too, and the Fayre is fully booked now with great exhibitors - all local businesses involved in the Wedding World! I have the local branch of Thomas Cook taking part, and a vintage car that featured in the Christmas edition of Downton Abbey will greet visitors as they arrive from the car-park. There'll be only one of every other kind of business at the Fayre too, so brides won't be bombarded with too much confusing information ..

Oh, and did you get the joke? A Wedding Fayre .. in a pub? Culcheth's 'local' Wedding Fayre? Don't worry, no-one else got it, either ..

Cash for Squits ..

I took this shot on an early trip to America, and I remember seeing and hearing, for the first time, adverts there for 'Compensation' claims. Get money for this, get money for that, get money for old bleedin' rope! "Thank God we don't have such a compensation culture at home" I would say .. "We don't blame other people for our misfortunes over in England!"..

Except now, of course .. we do! And I bloody hate it! I mean, I can see the point with the PPI 'scandal' - though even that's been rammed down our throats for far too long now - but I've heard radio ads recently promoting compensation for everything from dodgy dentistry to solar panels that aren't earning you an income. I've totally had enough of 'Had an accident that wasn't your fault?' ads but the best popped up on my Facebook page over the weekend. You can now claim compensation if you got the sh*ts on holiday! I kid you not! 'Holiday spoiled by the squits? No sweat, we'll get you some compensation.' Jeez, I give up! Mind you, thinking about it, with the amount of twiddly bums I've had on my travels over the years, I reckon I'm owed about thirty million quid!
Pay up, you bounders, pay up ...

Illogical, Captain ..

Look, I swear - I promise you - that, yesterday, I thought I'd finished with the Space coincidences! I was all ready to move on and discuss, oh - I don't know - the finer points of wireless trigger photography or when it's advisable to put your camera on Auto ISO - when what happens? Bloody Spock dies! Off he's gone, phasers on stun in the great Transporter Room in the sky and all I can say is RIP Leonard! Thing is - and I swear this is true - yesterday I'd pulled this shot out of my seemingly never-ending box of old archive shots. It's me in my bedroom with some of my favourite things - circa early 80s. A nice Nikon FM, my fave Elliott Erwitt book 'Photographs and anti-photographs' .. and a Star Trek poster for the original motion picture! Look! There's Spock, looking straight over my shoulder! What are the chances of that happening? It's totally illogical, Captain.
Beam me up ..

Space Joy ..

My last mention of space, and then it's time to move on! I mean, bloody hell, even the weather lady mentioned last night that astronauts on the ISS experience 16 sunrises and sunsets every day!  No, it's just the idea of this new Black Hole astronomers have found that's got the mass of 12, 000, 000, 000 of our suns yet is squashed into a space smaller than an atom! Can you grasp that? Me neither! I just hope the makers of external hard-drives are getting to grips with those physics!..

Joy Division are on television tonight! There's a 95 minute documentary about them on BBC4. I kinda think I've already seen it, but it'll be worth watching again, of course. There's a small clip here where Peter Saville explains his design for the cover of 'Unknown Pleasures'. Hang on, that's a bloody pulsar! I give up.. 

I, Robot ..

I've been a bit spaced-out since yesterday's Blog! It seems everything I've seen since has had something to do with space travel or 'the future', owing to a combination of an ISS Spacewalk yesterday and all these announcements about AI - Artificial Intelligence - in robots! I spent yesterday editing Wedding photographs on the Mac with a live-stream from NASA flickering away in the corner of the screen. I'd suddenly become absolutely fascinated with a space-walk taking place outside the International Space Station. It went on for hours! One minute the two astronauts were working away in blazing sunlight and the next - well, after 90 minutes - they were plunged into darkness as they flew behind the earth. But rattling around in my head as I watched it were the words of Stephen Hawking, who is starting to panic about both the growth of intelligence in robots and the desperate damage we're causing to the planet. He reckons humans' only chance of survival will be to fly the nest - buzz off - leave the Earth and set up shop somewhere else...

Well, I agree with old Steve about the state of the planet but, thing is, one of the tasks - on which an astronaut worked for almost 3 hours yesterday - was plain old lubrication of some space hardware. Oiling a crane, basically! So I reckon that we'll be safe from the takeover of the robots as long as they don't work out how to oil their own joints! Mind you, they might look after the planet a little better than we have ..

©Martin O'Neill

Finding your space ..

Subtitled: Why I never made it as an Astronaut!

I've just finished reading a fantastic book by the astronaut Chris Hadfield - "An astronaut's guide to life on earth'. Chris was Commander of the International Space Station in 2013. There's a chapter in his book that begins "When I was 10 years old all I wanted for Christmas was a camera" ..

When I was ten years old all I wanted was to be an astronaut! I was mad on space, getting up on my own in the early hours of July 21st 1969 to watch Neil Armstrong do his thing; building papier maché models of the moon's surface so I could land my Airfix Lunar Module on it; drawing rocket after rocket in art class. That kind of thing ..

Of course, being specky-four eyes and thick as two short planks I was never going to achieve any ambition I might have to get into space but, fortunately for me, along came photography just three years later and I was spoken for! I'd found my way ahead! Similarly, Commander Hadfield came down to earth with a bump, too! (Ho, ho..) He "had an epiphany" after taking picture after picture that was "poorly lit and uninspired". "I was never going to be a professional photographer.." he says "My pictures were God-awful. I put the camera away".

How lucky we both were to find a 'calling' in life. I was recently photographing a careers event for school-leavers - a whole hall full of businesses and exhibitors trying to interest them into taking up apprenticeships - and I thought 'Imagine being 16 and not knowing what you want to do with your life!' .. I find that incredible. It isn't incredible though, is it? It's perfectly normal and I just hope they, like myself - and especially Cmdr. Hadfield - find their space in life .. 

Ps: This is a Saturn V rocket I photographed in Houston on a visit to Mission Control. I still think, secretly, there's still a bit of me that wants to be a space-man!..

©Martin O'Neill 2015

Terrible ..

D'ya know, a man could get a complex! Following on from the recent 'Sh*t' email I received, I read this in the comments book of my exhibition on Saturday. I was at 'Made in Eccles' at The People's History Museum with some of my pals. I had to bribe them with booze to get them to come into Manchester, of course, but come in they did, and - despite the tears - a good time was had by all..

The comments book is filling up nicely. Some of the exhibition visitors even liked it! There are comments in there by a couple of other snapper mates, and even a few nice lines from a girl I used to date about 30 years ago!! One of the staff members told me a chap from Germany had come to the museum specifically to see my work, and on Saturday I chatted to a very nice couple from Middlesborough who said it didn't matter that the pictures were about Eccles, because it felt so similar to the working class area they'd grown up in in the North-East..

Blog update: No sooner had I posted today's blog than this photo was sent to me!..

So, not so terrible after all ..

Tripod ..

Tripod: n: A meeting of photographers, usually involving alcohol and pulling stupid faces in front of signs.

So, Saturday afternoon and I'm out boozing with a tripod of photographers. What does the conversation turn to? Work! Of course! Work! Work and lack of it, work and low fees, work and late payers.. etc., etc., .. you get the picture! Moan, moan, moan! Oh, not from me, of course! Hell no! I'm so busy, with such lovely clients and so many trusted contacts that I'm a little old happy Larry I am! So what better way to laugh in the face of this collective doom and gloom than a quick bit of face-gurning in front of this rather appropriate poster?! And, honest .. I was pretending!.. 

Looking up ..

It's been a good month for portraits at StudioFiveFour with a nice variety of businesspeople, actors and a young model taking their turn in front of my lens. This is one of my favourite shots - from the ones I've been given permission to show you - and it'll be turning up on a newsletter near you in the very near future! I love the way she's looking up. Makes you wonder what's going on up there!..

The launch of the Culcheth Wedding Fayre went well yesterday. Manchester Wedding Photography will be there, of course, as well as a rather tasty and well-mixed bunch of Wedding suppliers. We'll even have a car there that featured in the Christmas edition of Downton Abbey! The venue, The Culcheth Arms, told me that within half an hour of me opening the Facebook Event page they'd had 6 phone enquiries about the fayre and I hope that, tomorrow, I'll be able to report the inclusion of a rather 'big' addition to the list of exhibitors!..

Yes, things are definitely looking up ..

Fayre Enough ..

Well, you know me - I love a good project - and, this morning, I popped the cork on a new undertaking. I've created a Wedding Fayre! I'm holding the Culcheth Wedding Fayre - I still don't know why it's always spelt like that! - on March 31st at the perfectly named Culcheth Arms in .. er, Culcheth! I've got some really good suppliers on board and have already set up a Facebook Event page to promote it. Just need some lovely brides and grooms to come along now! Please spread the word if you know of any loved-up young couples looking to tie the knot!..

The future is retro ..

And so now, ladies and gentlemen .. hot on the heels of my new Joy Division website comes .. my new Smiths website! Don't worry, I don't plan to launch any more websites any time soon!
I think ..

I received an email on Monday from one of 'my brides' from 2006. She wants to order some prints from her Big Day, and what a surprise I got to see that, as recently as nine years ago, I was still shooting on film! There they are, all her lovely poses and group shots, all on 6x6 Provia 400H negative! If she orders one of those it'll mean a trip to the lab like the old days 'cos, despite my nice words about our lovely postmen yesterday, I never did trust my Wedding photographs to the mail! ..

Of course, she was delighted to hear that I still have all her photographs, but that's my thing! I never throw any of my work away! Did you read about the 'Black Hole' warnings in the 'paper over the weekend? A chap was saying that, in the future, there'll be a massive gap in our records of the past. Everything digital will be, he says .. gone .. mainly because technology will have moved on and we won't be able to 'read' any of our digital heritage. Speaking as someone so retro I still play cassettes, watch videos and print from negatives I think I should be ok!
Hey, good idea for a website! ..  

First class delivery ..

They say the best Wedding bookings come via 'Word-of-Mouth', but wait 'til you hear about the Wedding I booked over the weekend. Leasha and Callum came to see me at Manchester Wedding Photography and I asked them, as I ask all couples, just how exactly they came to hear of me. I mean, God knows, I put that much effort into Social 'Meeja' and website SEO that it is nice every now and again to hear that's it's actually worked! "Google?" .. I asked "Wedding Fayre? Hotel flyer?..." No, they answered, none of that! Turns out there was a postman who used to deliver to the offices that my partner used to work in, who was told by my partner about my work, who knows Leasha's Mum and who passed her my details and she, after vetting my site, told her daughter in Sheffield who then came to see me at the weekend! How's that for a first-class delivery? What a route! So that's it! No more faffing about with keywords and tag lines .. I'm just gonna start bribing posties across the North-West! .. 

Oh, Joy ..

Finally, finally I have a website dedicated to my Joy Division photographs .. and it's only taken me all of ten years since I first showed them to the world! JoyDivisionPhotos.com went live this morning and I'm delighted to be - at last - able to start promoting the site. In May I'll be kicking off a major Joy Division exhibition in Macclesfield, as well as several 'travelling' shows to tie in with a stage-play about the band. And all that, of course, is tied in with the - gulp - thirty-fifth anniversary of the death of lead singer Ian Curtis. Poignant still ...

The show at the People's History Museum is going well too, judging by the tweets that are coming out from people who have been to see it. Actually, if you'd planned to go and see it, it's down until Thursday because of other activities going on at the Museum. Bit of warning for ya there! ..

Great to get yet another Manchester Wedding Photography booking for a Wedding next year, but .. ask me how I got it! Go on, ask me! Did the couple Google me? Meet me at a Wedding Fayre? Pick up a flyer at a hotel? I'll tell ya tomorrow .. 

What a load of sh*t ..

A submission came in from my website contact form the other day that was so funny I just had to show it you in its entirety! Someone/thing called Sucks took the time out to patiently fill in all the required fields on my form, just to make sure he/she/it got a clear message across to me that they didn't like my work! Well gee Sucks, I'm just glad you took the time to have a look at it!..

I shot a birthday party for a two-year-old child yesterday afternoon. By this morning I had a sore throat and the sniffles! Man, they must have had enough germs in that playgroup to start their own Biological Warfare Unit! Next time I'm going in with a jar of Vicks up my nose. Next time? Oh, Lord .. that's next Sunday! Having said that, it was such great fun, and I think I'll make a bigger effort to plug that aspect of my work. There are so many lovely pictures to be had! If only my work wasn't so sh*t! Damn ...

Lucky 13 ..

It's Friday the 13th, and I'm feeling really lucky! A local magazine is carrying what must be the weirdest by-line I've ever had. The tag runs 'Front cover photo by and of Martin O'Neill' .. my italics! At the beginning of the year our Culcheth Essential Guide mag began a year-long series of profiles of local businesspeople, and I was asked if I'd take the shots as I very often provide the front cover image for the company. Well, call me biased, but I thought a good start to the series would be a photograph of .. me! So I shot the proverbial selfie and, as I say, it's the front cover of the mag .. until I shoot the next one!..

I'm showing a flower photo because I want to tell you about a 'Pop-up shop' that I'm having next month. I was told about some space that can be hired withing the reception area of Warrington General Hospital, and have managed to book a date there at the beginning of March. I thought it would be the ideal opportunity to try to sell some of my Florescence photography - bright colours and good vibes within a hospital, and all that!..

Tomorrow I'm being visited by a bride and groom who are coming all the way from Sheffield to see me! Their Wedding is exactly one year today! They really like the look of Manchester Wedding Photography so let's hope that, this time tomorrow, I'll know what I'm doing on Saturday the 13th of February ..

Twit..

Twitter! That's what's on my mind today! I'm just 11 'Follows' short of 1,000 .. and I'm determined to hit four figures before the week is out! Why? I don't know! I should say it's because I want to build a valuable, profitable online presence, but really I'm just a saddo who fancies the geeky, plastic idea of hitting that magical figure! But never mind that! Help a poor boy out, here! Follow me now! You too can be a recipient of my never-ending stream of witty, intelligent chit-chat! There's even a bribe in there. The 1,000th 'Follower' will receive an A4 print of one of my images they like! Lucky you!..

Online presence! Hmmmm! I've just spent another whole day working on the website for Manchester Wedding Photography. I decided to change the font this time! Made it less BOLD! More feminine! More modern! I hope it bloody works..

And now I must go! I need to tweet this blog ..

Keeping my eye in ..

Cripes! I just realised I've not blogged for 5 days! What's the world coming to? Don't worry, I've not disappeared off the face of the earth, I've just been working! As Manchester PR Photography I've had a lovely mix of dinners, award ceremonies, property and magazine shoots to do .. and a couple of gorgeous sessions at StudioFiveFour! Oh yes, I've certainly been keeping my eye in ..

Still together after all these years ..

I look back at a lot of the people in my photographs and wonder "Where are they now?" and, at the weekend, I got the chance to meet up with a couple of my old 'subjects'! I took a shot of a bust of Cromwell alongside this ventilator flue on my Olympus XA way back in the 80s. I loved the fact that they looked like a couple, an actual pair of sculptures designed to be together. Well, I was back at Buile Hill park in Salford on Sunday and I'm delighted to report that they're still there. Actually, they're behind bars together! The beautiful old Mining Museum, where they're situated, has long been closed and is now a sorry sight, boarded up and surrounded by railings, locks and bars. The shot on the right is as close as I could get to my old friends! It made me feel quite sad but, as I always say at Manchester Wedding Photography, I'm so glad they're still together after all these years ..

A dear 'do' ...

A football agent was on the television yesterday saying he didn't think footballers were paid enough! What? Erm, Earth to Agent, earth to agent, over!! Mind you, this photography mullarkey's getting expensive, too!..

I was photographing an awards event last week and, in one of the rooms, I noticed a rather unpleasant smell - sort of burning plastic. Thing is, when I went to another room the smell was still there. Yes folks, it was my flashgun, literally in melt-down! It stopped working about half-way through the evening. This flash has gone to heaven, as The Pixies never sang!..

Next day, time to shop for a replacement in a process that has become altogether too familiar over the past few months. Since October I've had to buy a new wireless flash trigger system, a new 18-200 zoom lens, a new light stand, a replacement 35mm lens, this SB-900 flash and an entire new camera body! It's been a bit of a dear do, it has! I'll bloody need to be on footballers' wages if this keeps on!.. 

The picture? Taken in Man U's changing rooms on a pr shoot when I was following some foreign visitors around. No idea how old the image is but I just checked up and Ronaldo left the team six years ago. Probably needed more money ..

Cliffhanger ..

Two shots of The Cliff for you today, from back when I wore the hat of Press Photographer! That's the Cliff - the old training ground for Manchester United - and some wannabe pop poodle from days gone by! Actually, I shouldn't joke .. I do have some Cliff Richard records in my collection. Wired for sound is ace!
Anyway, I digress...

The shot of Sir Cliff was just a one-off when he came to plug his show at The Palace Theatre in Manchester, but I used to go to the old training ground in Salford quite often. Not for the football, obviously - despite being named Martin O'Neill I wouldn't say photographing football is my forté - but for the goings-on around the team back in the '80s and early '90s. I remember having to dash there when United sacked Ron Atkinson in '86, and I got an exclusive photo-session there with Roy Keane when he signed for the team in '93. Going off the character of some football players, I thought the sign in today's shot was rather amusing..

Anyway, that's it! End of blog! No cliff-hangers today ..

Funky ..

Busy, busy! In just the last three days I've shot 943 pr images at an Awards Dinner in Manchester, 439 head-shots in the studio for an aspiring actress - sorry actor .. can't say actress anymore! - and 237 pictures of houses for a local estate agent. And Manchester Wedding Photography has taken enquiries from five newly-engaged couples at a Wedding Fayre I attended yesterday! I am, ladies and gentlemen, taking this afternoon off!..

I can't stop playing Kraftwerk! There was a film about the band on TV on Friday and I'm afraid their music's all I've listened to ever since. Trans-Europe Express is playing as I type! I remember buying the Autobahn LP when I was about 15, and being completely hypnotized by this fantastically wondrous, exotic brain drill .. and I've loved them ever since. Must say though, I never got the connection to Black American Funk music before! (It was in the programme!) A musical highlight of my life was seeing them at The Manchester Velodrome - the British Olympic Cycling Team zipping around the track to the thud of 'Tour de France'.. Mein Gott!

Anyway, what's that got to do with photography? Nowt, as they say in Salford, but it's officially my afternoon off. I can write what I like! Funky ..

Bum, bum ..

Sorry, I'm turning into an exhibition bore here - yawn - but I just need to tell you some good news from yesterday. I had a meeting with a lovely lady from a place called Incubation Arts in Macclesfield, who gave me the green light for a new exhibition of my Joy Division photographs there in May and June. It's great news, although I kinda did a double take when she mentioned it would tie in with the 35th anniversary of the death of lead singer Ian Curtis. What a shock! So that's ten years already since I decided to show the work to mark the 25th anniversary!! Crikey!..

There's a blackboard set up for comments at my - zzz - 'Made in Eccles' exhibition at the People's History Museum in Manchester. I was delighted when, on the very first day, a tourist wrote 'Botev Plovdic' on it with a cheeky little border drawn around. Nice, I thought! I hope that's something good, I thought! Turns out it's the name of a bloody football team in Bulgaria! Hmm..

Anyway, that made me laugh, and so did going to the loo last week during a shoot - I apologise for the sheer glamour of the job here - at a bathroom fittings supplier near Blackburn. The toilet seat was broken! Bum, bum!..

It's all go ..

Time to turn my attention to other things! Made in Eccles has got three months to do its own thing now, and I have other projects to think of! Manchester Wedding Photography, for example! Remember I shoot Wedding photography? Oh yes, it's all coming back to me now! I'm preparing for another Wedding Fayre this Sunday - at the lovely Buile Hill Park Hall in Salford - and I'm off for a meeting at lunchtime with a new Bridal lounge in Manchester where, hopefully, there'll be a mutual tie-in and I'll be able to promote my services to the young ladies of the town. Behave!..

There's exciting Joy Division news in the offing, too. I'm off to Macclesfield this afternoon with offers of a new exhibition on the cards. And there's Smiths news, too! Stay tooned! And I've got a landscape photography exhibition on the desktop...

It's all go ..

Mint, great, shit ..

First day of 'Made in Eccles', and fantastic to see people visiting right from the 'off''! The comments have already started, too! "Eccles is mint" and "Great cakes" is chalked on the blackboard, and "Chopper bikes - shit but good" has been added to the comments book! Well, that about covers it, I think! My people, my people, I love you all ...

It's up! ..

Done! At last! Made in Eccles is up and running! I can finally relax! Actually, I'm aching all over today, pathetic as it sounds. I just didn't realise how much bending and stretching and reaching and hammering is involved in the hanging of over 100 photographs. Still, they're there now so I only hope that now I've "built it, the people will come"!..

Funnily enough, the first person to see the show was one of those ubiquitous Japanese tourists, who'd obviously been tootling around the rest of the museum and just carried on and wandered into my space, camera - inevitably - in hand! Now the last time a Japanese chap saw one of my exhibitions in Manchester he ended up staging it in Tokyo, providing me with a fantastic and memorable trip to the land of the Rising Sun! Now a good friend, Nobu rang me and asked if I'd "mind" if he put my Joy Division photographs on view in his home city. Mind?
No, I did not mind, and the rest, as they say ..
Here's hoping ...

Get it up ..

Today's the day! It's time to hang up my washing .. er, my photographs! I'll be spending today at The People's History Museum putting up my 'Made in Eccles' exhibition, with this photograph taking a leading role in the show. It's a shot of our laundry, hanging in the back garden, circa 1975. My poor old Mum was horrified when she saw it! "Oh, our Martin.." she flustered "How can you show that! Look at the state of it!" Sorry Mum! Reality's king in my world! Oh, and mentioning Manchester Wedding Photography! SEO's a bit of a ruler, too...


Anyways, better get a move on ...

It gets on my t*ts ..

Rather amused by all the Page Three hoo-ha that's going on at the moment. If you're not from the UK, this revolves around one of our national newspapers - The Sun - which, after 44 years, looks like it's finally stopped printing photographs of topless girls on its third page. Basically, you opened the 'paper every day and there, right in front of you, was a pair of hooters and an inane caption telling you how Stacey was 19 and wanted to travel the world and save hedgehogs. I'm not getting into the ins and outs of the argument - I never bought the 'paper and I've never shot topless women (Well, once .. and that was to show how much space there was in the sleeping compartment of a new truck .. I kid you not!) but I know it worked for some people and drove other people crazy. You have to admit it was a British institution but hey, everything has its day. I mean, I can see far steamier stuff right here on this screen with a couple of clicks of my mouse .. er, apparently! It just reminded me of this old cartoon - I've had it in my collection for absolutely ages and, by the way, thanks are due to whoever drew this all those years ago. It seems that, even now, if you mention to someone new that you are a photographer they'll more often than not assume you photograph topless women. No, folks, I don't, and I don't get asked to, so thank you very much and goodbye! The funny thing to my mind yesterday was the TV interviews with the Anti-Page Three campaigner, who was delighting in her apparent victory over the mighty press. She had a big slogan splashed right across her t-shirt. I had no option but to look at her t*ts...

Before the Fall ..

A Channel 4 programme last night highlighted perfectly the dangers of thinking you can make a living from photography just because it's your "passion". They featured a guy - somewhere in Manchester, I believe - who decided to ditch his day job and set up as a snapper. He was filmed photographing a local band with what seemed to be the most amateur of camera models (Ooh, get me! I'm a camera snob now!) Anyway, seems he really liked photography as a hobby so thought he would earn some dosh from it. Big mistake! The programme went on to tell us that, in the past eight months, this guy's earned the sum total of .. £250!! Ouch! I do hope that set off alarm bells with some of the people who've contacted me over the past few months asking for advice about a career in photography, 'cos my advice is, unfortunately .. don't do it! There are now too many people 'giving it a go', causing standards - and prices - to drop and meaning there's far less work around for the ever-growing number of photographers already out there. I thought a photograph of 'The Fall' would be rather appropriate today ..

Hole in my pocket ..

We were driving home from a trip out on Saturday night and .. CLUNK! .. we went right down this dark, invisible pot-hole. It took us 'til 11am on Sunday to dig ourselves out! Eeeeh, the state of our roads! What's me bloody road-tax being used for? Why hasn't this been filled in? Grrrr...

Anyway, this is the week that my exhibition finally goes up, a good 14 months since I got the 'nod' from The People's History Museum. Very excited, as you can imagine, and there's been another write-up about it just this very day! I'm just slightly put out that I can't actually afford to throw an opening bash for everybody. There seems to be a hole in my finances, too ..

Now then, Manchester Wedding Photography! Nothing to add to that, just writing it down for SEO purposes! Don't want to disappear down that Black Hole that is Google ..

'Til I die ..

I learnt this morning that a pal and his missus have decided to go their seperate ways after 20-odd years together, and yesterday I spoke to not one, but two photographers who've decided to ease off the snapping and go into teaching! Jeez, I even know a guy that's just gone and bought himself a speedboat! Anyway, it's causing me to get worried. I think I've forgotten to have a mid-life crisis! I don't want to sound smug but I'm happy with everything about my life! Especially the bit about being a photographer! I love the fact that I'm still making a living from taking photographs, and I cannot imagine any other way of life! I mean, ok, I worry about the dropping levels of work - now that everyone thinks they can do my job with their mobile phones - but I'm sure that, somehow, I'll still be taking photographs as an old codger! Manchester Wedding Photography 'til I die ..

Actually, this blog does sound smug. I don't think I'll publish this one. Oh, sod it, go on ..

Slebs ..

I've been in Foo Foo Lamar's bedroom! Now, if you're not from Manchester, that statement won't mean a thing, so let me explain. Frank 'Foo Foo' Lamar was a Drag Queen who ran his own club - Foo Foo's Palace - in Manchester, for years and years. He raised kerjillions for charity though, sadly, died of cancer over ten years ago. Anyway, let's get back to his bedroom! The Manchester Evening News launched a new weekly magazine in the 90s and, rather flatteringly, chose me as one of its small posse of snappers. They decided they'd run an article on 'Celebrities in their bedrooms' .. (?) .. so I got the job of hoiking my 645 transparency camera around the city and squeezing myself between the wardrobes and dressing tables of the more-well known citizens of Manchester. Rowetta, from The Stone Roses, was another whose bedroom I've shared! (Oooh, Matron!) I mention this because I've just turfed up rather a lot of celebrity photographs from my days on the 'papers, so I decided to design a 'Slebs' page on my web-site. Alas, as I was working for the press, a lot of my shots are long gone, but the ones I managed to salvage are a fascinating look back at the days when being famous meant you'd actually done more in your life than marry a footballer or sung for two-minutes on a Saturday night talent (?) contest! Anyway, have a look via StudioFiveFour Photography. See how many you can name! There's everyone from Peter Ustinov to Sooty, via Maggie Thatcher, Terry Wogan and a very young Steve Coogan!
Oh, and Foo Foo? Great legs .. 

Will work for .. ?

A company yesterday said they'd "consider" using me in the future if I did a first PR job for them .. for free .. and a woman has just emailed to say that one of my 'Made in Eccles' shots is "perfect" for a new campaign she's launching, so could I let her use it .. for free!

Eh? What? Do I have a sign on my door saying 'Let me shoot that for you - I need the experience'?  Is there a label on my website saying 'Yes, of course you can have my work for nothing'? What the bloody hell's going on? And if that wasn't enough, two couples have enquired this week about Wedding Photography with Manchester Wedding Photography saying they wanted to pay up to £250!..

It's right what they say! Making that first million's the hard bit ..

A vous la France ..

With France in mind it was rather timely that I came across this photograph over the weekend. When I was growing up in Eccles my neighbour Carole had a French family over to stay for a week or so in 1977. It was a bit of a 'dommage' that the poor old Maman of the family had a broken leg, and spent the entire visit sitting on my pal's settee, but she dragged herself into my pal's back garden for a photograph and so here's a shot of the shot being taken by Papa. By way of a thank you for the photograph Sylvie, the daughter of la famille, posted me a French record when she got home - a 45 by a singer called Laurent Voulzy with un petit sticker on the back saying 'Pour Martin'! It was as exotic a gift as I'd ever had in my life. A record! From France! From a French Girl!! Oh, la la!..

Out of curiosity I looked on YouTube to see if the song was there. It's there! Not only is it there but it's there in an updated 18 minute long version with a really fun video (and some awful miming, but c'est la vie!) Check it out here. Put a smile on ton visage!..

Just a quickie about my Weddings. There was flurry of activity over the weekend, and I'm delighted to say that Manchester Wedding Photography is now looking at bookings as far ahead as September 2016! Ca c'est bon ...

With this ring ..

Check this out! One of the joys of Manchester Wedding Photography is that you get to see a couple's individuality - their quirks, their tastes, their lifestyle - and so there was no doubting the groom who chose this as his Wedding ring last month! Talk about a Rock God! How fantastic!..

The wheels are in motion now for the publicity for 'Made in Eccles' - my upcoming, as those Yanks say, exhibition at The People's History Museum in Manchester.
A very flattering piece went up online yesterday. All I can do is point you to it ..

Oh, and the groom with the crazy ring? Leaving the celebrations after the first dance, as I did, I can't confirm the rumour that the groom, by the end of the evening, was out of his skull!
Ba Dum! Tish!!.....

Paris ..

Beauty, peace, light, smiles ... you gotta think positively when the news is like it is at the moment. Man, what a horrible start to the New Year. I don't need to add anything but my thoughts to the horror and disgust that has already been expressed about Paris, but I was reading that yesterday was the first day in God knows how long that there were no deaths reported in Syria. A heavy snowstorm apparently kept everyone inside! Thank God for snow, eh? ..

Two weeks 'til my exhibition opens, and I'm now featured in the mail-out doing the rounds from The People's History Museum. A couple of local 'papers have taken up the story too so, being as publicity-shy as I am, I'm having to bite the bullet and chat to journalists about the show! ..

It's fair to say there's a lull now for Manchester Wedding Photography, so I'm spending my time tarting up the website and advertising such things as 'I shoot Vintage' and 'I shoot Film' .. and anything else I can think of that might inspire newly engaged couples to book me! ..

Hey, beauty, peace, light, smiles! Yeah, I shoot them! ..

File under fantastic ..

Another dive into my mysterious cache of unfiled negatives yesterday, and I dug out a cracking pair of pictures from the early 90s. These were the heady days when Manchester felt it had a decent shot at winning the 2000 Olympics although I think, from the peeling poster and the headline on the MEN board, you can guess the outcome!..

Prince Andrew was another surprise in the box. I'd forgotten I even photographed him! And then there was Nigel Lawson, Gary Davies and Sonia, the Scouse singy-bird from Stock, Aitken and Waterman's little collection. There was even a shot of my old boss from the Warrington Guardian, a diminutive Geordie called Eddie who looks like he couldn't possibly have the strength to actually carry the huge Nikon and motor-drive he's wearing round his neck.
All great additions to my archive ..

What's a motor-drive, Grandad? ..

Have a sit down ..

I almost didn't write a blog today. Hell no, I'm far too busy! Well, it's that time of year, isn't it? I've got sofas to buy, cruise holidays to book, detox diets to start .. who's got time to blog? Actually, TV ads aside, I have had a busy start to the year, albeit stuck in front of my trusty Mac as I work through Wedding selections and people's print orders. I spent yesterday mentally back in October, as I sorted out the images for a Wedding I shot then at the Didsbury House Hotel. Today I'm working on a selection of shots that have been ordered from a lady who came into the studio for some 'Dating Agency' photographs. The agency like them so much, in fact, that they've asked if I'd consider travelling to London to shoot more of their clients! Tasty! I've also chucked a bit more work at the websites - both Manchester Wedding Photography and StudioFiveFour - in my never-ending quest to get them up, up, up those rankings. In fact, I googled myself yesterday and was delighted to say I came out on the front page exactly one listing above one of my old mates! We may be the best of pals but I'm afraid there's no love lost in the murky jungle of work! Ha ..

No love lost? Isn't that a Joy Division song? Funny you should ask, 'cos I've got good news about my shots of the band. They'll be going 'on tour' in the Spring as part of a theatrical production about the group. Theatrical production? A play, Martin .. a play. Jeez, keep it simple! I'll tell you more after my meeting with the company. Man, I need a sit down ...

Frosty reception ..

Great, isn't it? Tree down, decorations gone and time for the obligatory 'Let's go to the park and photograph the frost' walk! Normality has returned!
Oh, January, such joy!..

I was searching for a message I'd received recently on Facebook, and suddenly came across a section of my page I'd never seen before. In it were 48 unread messages! Forty-eight!! Bloody hell! It seems it's a section where messages go if you're not a 'Friend' with a person but they message you anyway, so they varied in importance from utterly irrelevant or highly amusing to 'Oh, bugger, I wish I'd seen this'! Irrelevant messages included one which started 'Dear O'Neill' and one which told me about an Uncle who'd died and left me $17.2m .. Nice! Highly amusing ones included two involving the famous photographer Terry O'Neill. 'Is he your Dad?' asked one and 'Can you put us in touch with him?' asked another. A couple of people asked if I remembered them (No!) and there was one which simply said 'Such a loser' but then there were messages saying things like 'The prints were really fantastic' and 'Promotional material received; Photography and quality brilliant!' .... Aaagh! Who? When? What? Oh, bugger! Note to self: Monitor your pages more effectively!..


Oh, the original message I wanted to find? A Wedding enquiry for 2016. The fourth I've had in a week! Looks like Manchester Wedding Photography will be shooting more than frost come this time next year ..

Happy New Year!

And so we take our first tentative steps into the new year!
Happy 2015, everybody!..

First task today - looking forward to the New Year - was to look back at 2014 and design a montage of some of my fave Wedding shots! I spent this morning trawling the files and putting together a 'greatest hits' of the year collection for Manchester Wedding Photography. It's a bit too big to put on here so I added a link to it here! Enjoy!..

And now I must away to set the table, as we're hosting one last 'fling' of the season.
Incoming! Parents at one o'clock...