Arse ..

I wrote about the signpost dates we've passed this month that let you know we're on the way to Christmas, but I missed one out and was reminded of it yesterday ..

The Taylor Wessing Portrait Photography Prize comes around each autumn and, in fact, opens today at the National Portrait Gallery. It's always a good opportunity to moan and grumble about the depressing photography it shows but this year's winner was the worst ever. It was announced earlier this week and I cannot bring myself to cut and paste the winning shot so have a look at it here. Folks, the photographer who took this has won £15, 000 ... fifteen thousand pounds! Can you believe it? What a pile of arse! What an insult to professional photography ..

Now, I don't know if the judges pick crap like this to be controversial or to stir up pissed-offyness - like they have with me - in an effort to promote the show, but it beggars belief when they say “This year’s winner stood out for its simplicity and powerful directness, and was commended by the judges for its ability to create something beautiful out of the everyday.”

Perhaps it's just me - perhaps I'm too thick to 'get it' but I'll tell you this, next year I'm going to submit this shot of me shooting a PR job in a Virtual Reality North Pole. How's that for powerful directness? Arse ..

Don't Say Cheese ..

Oh, Gawd! The Taylor Wessing Portrait Photography awards have been announced for 2013 and, from what I've seen, they've been true to form and avoided smiling like the plague! Why don't they consider a smile as suitable for a portrait? Do they feel a happy face isn't a true representation of a person? Well, it's too deep for me but then I never was one for "analyzing" photographs. All I know is that walking round the pictures at the National Portrait Gallery makes for a really depressing experience so, here .. have my contender for this year's winner. My Mum, beaming like a Cheshire Cat as she waited to board Concorde for a pleasure flight back when .. well, when it was flying! I think the image speaks volumes about my Mum's personality so Ya Boo Sucks Taylor Wessing and I for one won't be zipping down 'the smoke' for a gander at this year's misery fest!

#TaylorWessing
#culchethstudio
#portraitphotography

There is hope...

I'll drink to that! A smile has been spotted at the National Portrait Gallery! Yes, folks! They're showing a photograph of a smiley person in their heavy, heavy Annual Portrait Photography exhibition! You see, every year I go down to London to put myself through the torture of viewing wall after wall of dour, serious, "important" portraiture, and every year I come away depressed. They just don't like smiles in their pictures! No smiling in our show! But .. what's this? They've let one slip through! And not only that, they've thought it so unusual and striking that .. they've put it on the front cover of their catalogue! I got so excited that I gave 'em fifteen quid of my hard-earned dosh just to own it! Hurrah! There is hope, after all. I'll drink to that! Glühwein! Get me a hot toddy, pronto!..

The next part of this blog was supposed to be about the Hyde Park Christmas market but, er .. I can't remember anything about that!...

Oh, and the photograph's another from my ever-expanding archive! Just loving what I'm finding..

Ye Gods!...

 Jeez, I know times are hard, but f*cking hell! I had a stall in my local shopping centre on Saturday, selling a range of items from my Florescence range of Flower Photography. I took £5! A fiver! A paltry, pathetic fiver and  .. I won't mince my words .. it was an absolute soul-destroying pisser! And I get to do it all again next week! Brilliant!

Off to London today. It's time for my annual moan at the Taylor Wessing Portrait Photography exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. Something tells me that, after Saturday, I might not be in quite the right mood to view the images fairly! I'd love to think my shot of this poor little fella would stand a chance in the contest but I'd be wrong. He's actually showing some emotion, and we can't have that in public...