Illogical, Captain ..

Look, I swear - I promise you - that, yesterday, I thought I'd finished with the Space coincidences! I was all ready to move on and discuss, oh - I don't know - the finer points of wireless trigger photography or when it's advisable to put your camera on Auto ISO - when what happens? Bloody Spock dies! Off he's gone, phasers on stun in the great Transporter Room in the sky and all I can say is RIP Leonard! Thing is - and I swear this is true - yesterday I'd pulled this shot out of my seemingly never-ending box of old archive shots. It's me in my bedroom with some of my favourite things - circa early 80s. A nice Nikon FM, my fave Elliott Erwitt book 'Photographs and anti-photographs' .. and a Star Trek poster for the original motion picture! Look! There's Spock, looking straight over my shoulder! What are the chances of that happening? It's totally illogical, Captain.
Beam me up ..

Space Joy ..

My last mention of space, and then it's time to move on! I mean, bloody hell, even the weather lady mentioned last night that astronauts on the ISS experience 16 sunrises and sunsets every day!  No, it's just the idea of this new Black Hole astronomers have found that's got the mass of 12, 000, 000, 000 of our suns yet is squashed into a space smaller than an atom! Can you grasp that? Me neither! I just hope the makers of external hard-drives are getting to grips with those physics!..

Joy Division are on television tonight! There's a 95 minute documentary about them on BBC4. I kinda think I've already seen it, but it'll be worth watching again, of course. There's a small clip here where Peter Saville explains his design for the cover of 'Unknown Pleasures'. Hang on, that's a bloody pulsar! I give up.. 

I, Robot ..

I've been a bit spaced-out since yesterday's Blog! It seems everything I've seen since has had something to do with space travel or 'the future', owing to a combination of an ISS Spacewalk yesterday and all these announcements about AI - Artificial Intelligence - in robots! I spent yesterday editing Wedding photographs on the Mac with a live-stream from NASA flickering away in the corner of the screen. I'd suddenly become absolutely fascinated with a space-walk taking place outside the International Space Station. It went on for hours! One minute the two astronauts were working away in blazing sunlight and the next - well, after 90 minutes - they were plunged into darkness as they flew behind the earth. But rattling around in my head as I watched it were the words of Stephen Hawking, who is starting to panic about both the growth of intelligence in robots and the desperate damage we're causing to the planet. He reckons humans' only chance of survival will be to fly the nest - buzz off - leave the Earth and set up shop somewhere else...

Well, I agree with old Steve about the state of the planet but, thing is, one of the tasks - on which an astronaut worked for almost 3 hours yesterday - was plain old lubrication of some space hardware. Oiling a crane, basically! So I reckon that we'll be safe from the takeover of the robots as long as they don't work out how to oil their own joints! Mind you, they might look after the planet a little better than we have ..

©Martin O'Neill

Finding your space ..

Subtitled: Why I never made it as an Astronaut!

I've just finished reading a fantastic book by the astronaut Chris Hadfield - "An astronaut's guide to life on earth'. Chris was Commander of the International Space Station in 2013. There's a chapter in his book that begins "When I was 10 years old all I wanted for Christmas was a camera" ..

When I was ten years old all I wanted was to be an astronaut! I was mad on space, getting up on my own in the early hours of July 21st 1969 to watch Neil Armstrong do his thing; building papier maché models of the moon's surface so I could land my Airfix Lunar Module on it; drawing rocket after rocket in art class. That kind of thing ..

Of course, being specky-four eyes and thick as two short planks I was never going to achieve any ambition I might have to get into space but, fortunately for me, along came photography just three years later and I was spoken for! I'd found my way ahead! Similarly, Commander Hadfield came down to earth with a bump, too! (Ho, ho..) He "had an epiphany" after taking picture after picture that was "poorly lit and uninspired". "I was never going to be a professional photographer.." he says "My pictures were God-awful. I put the camera away".

How lucky we both were to find a 'calling' in life. I was recently photographing a careers event for school-leavers - a whole hall full of businesses and exhibitors trying to interest them into taking up apprenticeships - and I thought 'Imagine being 16 and not knowing what you want to do with your life!' .. I find that incredible. It isn't incredible though, is it? It's perfectly normal and I just hope they, like myself - and especially Cmdr. Hadfield - find their space in life .. 

Ps: This is a Saturn V rocket I photographed in Houston on a visit to Mission Control. I still think, secretly, there's still a bit of me that wants to be a space-man!..

©Martin O'Neill 2015

Terrible ..

D'ya know, a man could get a complex! Following on from the recent 'Sh*t' email I received, I read this in the comments book of my exhibition on Saturday. I was at 'Made in Eccles' at The People's History Museum with some of my pals. I had to bribe them with booze to get them to come into Manchester, of course, but come in they did, and - despite the tears - a good time was had by all..

The comments book is filling up nicely. Some of the exhibition visitors even liked it! There are comments in there by a couple of other snapper mates, and even a few nice lines from a girl I used to date about 30 years ago!! One of the staff members told me a chap from Germany had come to the museum specifically to see my work, and on Saturday I chatted to a very nice couple from Middlesborough who said it didn't matter that the pictures were about Eccles, because it felt so similar to the working class area they'd grown up in in the North-East..

Blog update: No sooner had I posted today's blog than this photo was sent to me!..

So, not so terrible after all ..

Tripod ..

Tripod: n: A meeting of photographers, usually involving alcohol and pulling stupid faces in front of signs.

So, Saturday afternoon and I'm out boozing with a tripod of photographers. What does the conversation turn to? Work! Of course! Work! Work and lack of it, work and low fees, work and late payers.. etc., etc., .. you get the picture! Moan, moan, moan! Oh, not from me, of course! Hell no! I'm so busy, with such lovely clients and so many trusted contacts that I'm a little old happy Larry I am! So what better way to laugh in the face of this collective doom and gloom than a quick bit of face-gurning in front of this rather appropriate poster?! And, honest .. I was pretending!.. 

Looking up ..

It's been a good month for portraits at StudioFiveFour with a nice variety of businesspeople, actors and a young model taking their turn in front of my lens. This is one of my favourite shots - from the ones I've been given permission to show you - and it'll be turning up on a newsletter near you in the very near future! I love the way she's looking up. Makes you wonder what's going on up there!..

The launch of the Culcheth Wedding Fayre went well yesterday. Manchester Wedding Photography will be there, of course, as well as a rather tasty and well-mixed bunch of Wedding suppliers. We'll even have a car there that featured in the Christmas edition of Downton Abbey! The venue, The Culcheth Arms, told me that within half an hour of me opening the Facebook Event page they'd had 6 phone enquiries about the fayre and I hope that, tomorrow, I'll be able to report the inclusion of a rather 'big' addition to the list of exhibitors!..

Yes, things are definitely looking up ..

Fayre Enough ..

Well, you know me - I love a good project - and, this morning, I popped the cork on a new undertaking. I've created a Wedding Fayre! I'm holding the Culcheth Wedding Fayre - I still don't know why it's always spelt like that! - on March 31st at the perfectly named Culcheth Arms in .. er, Culcheth! I've got some really good suppliers on board and have already set up a Facebook Event page to promote it. Just need some lovely brides and grooms to come along now! Please spread the word if you know of any loved-up young couples looking to tie the knot!..

The future is retro ..

And so now, ladies and gentlemen .. hot on the heels of my new Joy Division website comes .. my new Smiths website! Don't worry, I don't plan to launch any more websites any time soon!
I think ..

I received an email on Monday from one of 'my brides' from 2006. She wants to order some prints from her Big Day, and what a surprise I got to see that, as recently as nine years ago, I was still shooting on film! There they are, all her lovely poses and group shots, all on 6x6 Provia 400H negative! If she orders one of those it'll mean a trip to the lab like the old days 'cos, despite my nice words about our lovely postmen yesterday, I never did trust my Wedding photographs to the mail! ..

Of course, she was delighted to hear that I still have all her photographs, but that's my thing! I never throw any of my work away! Did you read about the 'Black Hole' warnings in the 'paper over the weekend? A chap was saying that, in the future, there'll be a massive gap in our records of the past. Everything digital will be, he says .. gone .. mainly because technology will have moved on and we won't be able to 'read' any of our digital heritage. Speaking as someone so retro I still play cassettes, watch videos and print from negatives I think I should be ok!
Hey, good idea for a website! ..  

First class delivery ..

They say the best Wedding bookings come via 'Word-of-Mouth', but wait 'til you hear about the Wedding I booked over the weekend. Leasha and Callum came to see me at Manchester Wedding Photography and I asked them, as I ask all couples, just how exactly they came to hear of me. I mean, God knows, I put that much effort into Social 'Meeja' and website SEO that it is nice every now and again to hear that's it's actually worked! "Google?" .. I asked "Wedding Fayre? Hotel flyer?..." No, they answered, none of that! Turns out there was a postman who used to deliver to the offices that my partner used to work in, who was told by my partner about my work, who knows Leasha's Mum and who passed her my details and she, after vetting my site, told her daughter in Sheffield who then came to see me at the weekend! How's that for a first-class delivery? What a route! So that's it! No more faffing about with keywords and tag lines .. I'm just gonna start bribing posties across the North-West! .. 

Oh, Joy ..

Finally, finally I have a website dedicated to my Joy Division photographs .. and it's only taken me all of ten years since I first showed them to the world! JoyDivisionPhotos.com went live this morning and I'm delighted to be - at last - able to start promoting the site. In May I'll be kicking off a major Joy Division exhibition in Macclesfield, as well as several 'travelling' shows to tie in with a stage-play about the band. And all that, of course, is tied in with the - gulp - thirty-fifth anniversary of the death of lead singer Ian Curtis. Poignant still ...

The show at the People's History Museum is going well too, judging by the tweets that are coming out from people who have been to see it. Actually, if you'd planned to go and see it, it's down until Thursday because of other activities going on at the Museum. Bit of warning for ya there! ..

Great to get yet another Manchester Wedding Photography booking for a Wedding next year, but .. ask me how I got it! Go on, ask me! Did the couple Google me? Meet me at a Wedding Fayre? Pick up a flyer at a hotel? I'll tell ya tomorrow .. 

What a load of sh*t ..

A submission came in from my website contact form the other day that was so funny I just had to show it you in its entirety! Someone/thing called Sucks took the time out to patiently fill in all the required fields on my form, just to make sure he/she/it got a clear message across to me that they didn't like my work! Well gee Sucks, I'm just glad you took the time to have a look at it!..

I shot a birthday party for a two-year-old child yesterday afternoon. By this morning I had a sore throat and the sniffles! Man, they must have had enough germs in that playgroup to start their own Biological Warfare Unit! Next time I'm going in with a jar of Vicks up my nose. Next time? Oh, Lord .. that's next Sunday! Having said that, it was such great fun, and I think I'll make a bigger effort to plug that aspect of my work. There are so many lovely pictures to be had! If only my work wasn't so sh*t! Damn ...

Lucky 13 ..

It's Friday the 13th, and I'm feeling really lucky! A local magazine is carrying what must be the weirdest by-line I've ever had. The tag runs 'Front cover photo by and of Martin O'Neill' .. my italics! At the beginning of the year our Culcheth Essential Guide mag began a year-long series of profiles of local businesspeople, and I was asked if I'd take the shots as I very often provide the front cover image for the company. Well, call me biased, but I thought a good start to the series would be a photograph of .. me! So I shot the proverbial selfie and, as I say, it's the front cover of the mag .. until I shoot the next one!..

I'm showing a flower photo because I want to tell you about a 'Pop-up shop' that I'm having next month. I was told about some space that can be hired withing the reception area of Warrington General Hospital, and have managed to book a date there at the beginning of March. I thought it would be the ideal opportunity to try to sell some of my Florescence photography - bright colours and good vibes within a hospital, and all that!..

Tomorrow I'm being visited by a bride and groom who are coming all the way from Sheffield to see me! Their Wedding is exactly one year today! They really like the look of Manchester Wedding Photography so let's hope that, this time tomorrow, I'll know what I'm doing on Saturday the 13th of February ..

Twit..

Twitter! That's what's on my mind today! I'm just 11 'Follows' short of 1,000 .. and I'm determined to hit four figures before the week is out! Why? I don't know! I should say it's because I want to build a valuable, profitable online presence, but really I'm just a saddo who fancies the geeky, plastic idea of hitting that magical figure! But never mind that! Help a poor boy out, here! Follow me now! You too can be a recipient of my never-ending stream of witty, intelligent chit-chat! There's even a bribe in there. The 1,000th 'Follower' will receive an A4 print of one of my images they like! Lucky you!..

Online presence! Hmmmm! I've just spent another whole day working on the website for Manchester Wedding Photography. I decided to change the font this time! Made it less BOLD! More feminine! More modern! I hope it bloody works..

And now I must go! I need to tweet this blog ..

Keeping my eye in ..

Cripes! I just realised I've not blogged for 5 days! What's the world coming to? Don't worry, I've not disappeared off the face of the earth, I've just been working! As Manchester PR Photography I've had a lovely mix of dinners, award ceremonies, property and magazine shoots to do .. and a couple of gorgeous sessions at StudioFiveFour! Oh yes, I've certainly been keeping my eye in ..

Still together after all these years ..

I look back at a lot of the people in my photographs and wonder "Where are they now?" and, at the weekend, I got the chance to meet up with a couple of my old 'subjects'! I took a shot of a bust of Cromwell alongside this ventilator flue on my Olympus XA way back in the 80s. I loved the fact that they looked like a couple, an actual pair of sculptures designed to be together. Well, I was back at Buile Hill park in Salford on Sunday and I'm delighted to report that they're still there. Actually, they're behind bars together! The beautiful old Mining Museum, where they're situated, has long been closed and is now a sorry sight, boarded up and surrounded by railings, locks and bars. The shot on the right is as close as I could get to my old friends! It made me feel quite sad but, as I always say at Manchester Wedding Photography, I'm so glad they're still together after all these years ..

A dear 'do' ...

A football agent was on the television yesterday saying he didn't think footballers were paid enough! What? Erm, Earth to Agent, earth to agent, over!! Mind you, this photography mullarkey's getting expensive, too!..

I was photographing an awards event last week and, in one of the rooms, I noticed a rather unpleasant smell - sort of burning plastic. Thing is, when I went to another room the smell was still there. Yes folks, it was my flashgun, literally in melt-down! It stopped working about half-way through the evening. This flash has gone to heaven, as The Pixies never sang!..

Next day, time to shop for a replacement in a process that has become altogether too familiar over the past few months. Since October I've had to buy a new wireless flash trigger system, a new 18-200 zoom lens, a new light stand, a replacement 35mm lens, this SB-900 flash and an entire new camera body! It's been a bit of a dear do, it has! I'll bloody need to be on footballers' wages if this keeps on!.. 

The picture? Taken in Man U's changing rooms on a pr shoot when I was following some foreign visitors around. No idea how old the image is but I just checked up and Ronaldo left the team six years ago. Probably needed more money ..

Cliffhanger ..

Two shots of The Cliff for you today, from back when I wore the hat of Press Photographer! That's the Cliff - the old training ground for Manchester United - and some wannabe pop poodle from days gone by! Actually, I shouldn't joke .. I do have some Cliff Richard records in my collection. Wired for sound is ace!
Anyway, I digress...

The shot of Sir Cliff was just a one-off when he came to plug his show at The Palace Theatre in Manchester, but I used to go to the old training ground in Salford quite often. Not for the football, obviously - despite being named Martin O'Neill I wouldn't say photographing football is my forté - but for the goings-on around the team back in the '80s and early '90s. I remember having to dash there when United sacked Ron Atkinson in '86, and I got an exclusive photo-session there with Roy Keane when he signed for the team in '93. Going off the character of some football players, I thought the sign in today's shot was rather amusing..

Anyway, that's it! End of blog! No cliff-hangers today ..

Funky ..

Busy, busy! In just the last three days I've shot 943 pr images at an Awards Dinner in Manchester, 439 head-shots in the studio for an aspiring actress - sorry actor .. can't say actress anymore! - and 237 pictures of houses for a local estate agent. And Manchester Wedding Photography has taken enquiries from five newly-engaged couples at a Wedding Fayre I attended yesterday! I am, ladies and gentlemen, taking this afternoon off!..

I can't stop playing Kraftwerk! There was a film about the band on TV on Friday and I'm afraid their music's all I've listened to ever since. Trans-Europe Express is playing as I type! I remember buying the Autobahn LP when I was about 15, and being completely hypnotized by this fantastically wondrous, exotic brain drill .. and I've loved them ever since. Must say though, I never got the connection to Black American Funk music before! (It was in the programme!) A musical highlight of my life was seeing them at The Manchester Velodrome - the British Olympic Cycling Team zipping around the track to the thud of 'Tour de France'.. Mein Gott!

Anyway, what's that got to do with photography? Nowt, as they say in Salford, but it's officially my afternoon off. I can write what I like! Funky ..